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'The Immortals' is high on thrills, low on brains
By Brian Sorensen
The film entertains, but can't hold up against cliched subject matter and poor acting
Published 12/5/2011
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“Immortals” may not be one of the films that lives on in the annuals of film history but for the 110 minutes you spend watching it you will be entertained. Unfortunately, when those 110 minutes are over you won’t feel very satisfied.

The movie stars the next Superman Henry Cavill, “Slumdog Millionaire’s” Freida Pinto and a few other actors you've never heard of. Cavill and Pinto do their best to carry the film, but cannot compensate for the vacuum of talent provided by the B-list stars of “Twilight” and “Clash of the Titans.”

I know having actual Greeks and Romans speaking actual Latin would be a bit much for American audiences, but when you have a 99 percent all-American cast it tends to take the viewer out of the world you’re trying to create. One actor even had a southern drawl.

If you've ever seen a movie based on mythical stories, then you’ll recognize the first hour of this film. A young villager ostracized by his peers finds his destiny in the midst of great tragedy. He bands together with a rag-tag group of misfits and goes out in search of glory and revenge.

“Immortals” is yet another of the rash of films plucked from mythology. One has to wonder if these myth-pics will follow the same path as superhero films. Once your Hercules and your Batmans are used up, you have to use lesser characters like Theseus and Aquaman. Personally, I’m looking forward to an hour-and-a-half of film devoted to Narcissus.

The latter part of this movie is your typical big battle scene. A small force outnumbered by savages wins the day at the last minute thanks to the man they once shamed. That would be fine if the action in this movie wasn't so blunt. It’s a lot like “300” but without all the pretension.

The best part of this movie is the scenes involving the gods. Luke Evans does an admirable job of playing Zeus. Any time the gods show up you know that over-the-top violence is about to ensue. Unfortunately, the gods are only in this movie for a few scenes, which always leaves you wanting more.

For a movie that tries so hard not to be “Clash of the Titans,” it manages to fall into the same traps.

“Immortals” is campy, senselessly violent and just plain dumb. That being said, it had potential, just like so many other box office flops. It is sad to see such interesting stories being butchered by lazy, unseasoned writers. While the ending of the film leaves it wide open for a sequel, I’d rather see a competent filmmaker go after this story.

Just like bad Chinese food laced with MSG, “Immortals” is not a movie that will stick with you, but you’ll enjoy it while it lasts. If you want to see this movie, I’d recommend renting it and sitting down with some good friends and your favorite adult beverage. That way when it’s all over you won’t mind being cheated out of those 110 minutes of your life.

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