It’s like sitting in a restaurant when the hot pizza arrives. You snatch it up off the plate and, though it’s clearly much too hot to touch, you stuff it into your mouth. In retrospect, you might seriously contemplate if there is something wrong with your brain, but it is OK, you’re human. This is just one of many dumbfounding reactions we have on a daily basis.

You may have realized that pizza is not exactly pertinent to romance. What I’m talking about are the simple, primal and, quite honestly, stupid reactions we have when it comes to romance.

A friend of mine used the analogy of a hot stove. Our natural human curiosity drives us to touch that stove just once because we want to know how hot it really is. At this point, we stare stupidly at our blistering palm, confused beyond reason, and we’re left with two options. Option one is to get some ice and order takeout. Option two is to convince yourself that this time you’ll be expecting it – so it won’t burn as badly – and reach for that stovetop again.

For some reason, we find ourselves inexplicably attracted to people – drawn especially to those we can’t have – only to get shot down and burned. As soon as we’ve recovered, some of us will go on struggling to fully let ourselves fall for someone for years to come, while others jump right back in to the dating game, knowing full well they will inevitably get hurt again.

For those of you falling into the former group, wipe that incredulous look off your face and get out there. I deliberated for quite some time as to what the best course of action was before the answer became clear. That burn on your hand hurts now, but it will heal eventually. In all honesty, you will be able to move on from someone you can’t have if you just put yourself out there. Taking the risk of getting burned will be easier than if you were still staring at your hand, wondering how much it will hurt the second your skin hits the hot surface. This process is a learning experience, and you may not get burned after all.

Adversely, for those of you who continue to take risks, all I can say is keep it up. As we press forward in life, we are confronted by tragedy and joy. Without one, we cannot have the other. If you never experience heartbreak, you’ll never be able to appreciate how great it is when you put your heart on the line and receive a loud and resounding “yes.” Just like if you had never burned the living daylights out of your hand touching that stovetop, you’d never appreciate how awesome the full dexterity of your fingers can be.