Ask Emma: I think I experienced ‘love at first sight’

Take time to consider if relationship is worth pursuing, feasibility of visiting person

Boundaries+should+be+maintained+in+this+type+of+situation.+

ANNIKA ZEIGLER

Boundaries should be maintained in this type of situation.

EMMA LEDBETTER, Evergreen editor-in-chief

Dear Emma,

I recently went on vacation and met this amazing person. We had a magical encounter, and I really fell for them. Love at first sight? It sure seemed like it.

Unfortunately, they were not on vacation; they worked in the place I was traveling. Now I don’t know what to do. Should I just try to move on? Or is it worth pursuing somehow?

Please help,

Wanderlust

Dear Wanderlust,

This does sound like a tricky situation. Without a doubt, the best piece of advice I can give for situations like this is to take some time to process. If you wait a few weeks and still feel the same way, you may be dealing with a serious “love at first sight” scenario.

Once you have taken some time, there are a lot of things you need to think about to choose whether you should pursue this.

First of all, you need to consider how reasonable developing a relationship with this person would actually be. How far away were you vacationing? Can you afford to get back there anytime soon? If it’s going to be a very long time until your next vacation, it is probably best to try to move on.

Next, do you have any way of contacting this person? Did you get their phone number or connect with them on social media? If yes to either of those questions, have you reached out or had a conversation with them? I hate to burst your bubble, but if you have not already connected, the feelings may be one-sided. I might be wrong, but it seems likely you would have heard from them if they felt the same way.

If you had favorable answers to any of these questions, congrats! It might be worth planning another trip so you can see this person.

If you choose this route, I encourage you to proceed with caution. What seems like “love at first sight” to you might seem like having a stalker to them. Grand romantic gestures like showing up unannounced at their work should probably be avoided. 

I’m tempted to tell you if a relationship with this person is meant to work out, it will. Even knowing that, I recognize it can be frustrating to not feel like you’re making any progress with this person. Take some time and don’t rush into anything — if you can help it. 

I hope this helps!

Emma