Satire: Turkeyday, the forgotten holiday

It’s almost as if we need a holiday between Halloween and Christmas

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen columnist

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






In honor of a longstanding tradition, WSU and the rest of the Palouse will be completely bypassing Thanksgiving this year and going straight into Christmas. Students, businesses and community members alike are already jumping straight into this annual holiday event.

No person dares to fall behind on Christmas hype, as they run the risk of having to actually be patient. Walmart Assistant Manager Jeremy Wadsworth said that the store hasn’t carried Thanksgiving-related items in years.

“We don’t even sell Advent calendars anymore,” he said. “They’re supposed to count down to Christmas, but that implies that it isn’t Christmas every day starting Nov. 1. People didn’t like that.”

Residents of WSU campus dorms are the most susceptible to the Christmas addiction, often forgetting that there is an entire week-long break dedicated to Thanksgiving. In Goldsworthy Hall, wrapping paper, bows and pom-poms already covered the chipped white paint of prison-esque doors.

Libby Villanova, a freshman resident, proudly displayed her spirit in a sweater with blinking Christmas lights. She pointed to her dorm as the most festive.

“I had my decorations up long before everyone else,” she said. “I created a loophole by putting Santa hats on the skulls I taped up for Halloween. That way, I was way ahead of everyone.”

Indeed, the less innovative Goldsworthy residents seemed to be at a loss for how to segue into Christmas from the grimmer Halloween. Doors sporting worn pumpkin decals mixed with half-hearted snowflake stickers indicated students who had not yet mastered the art of the “Holiday Hop.”

“If only there was something in between to transition into Christmas,” said Alan McMahon, one of these students,“something that maintains the fall aesthetic, but includes more of a family theme. We need some kind of pre-Christmas.”

McMahon is one of a dying breed of people who still think of Thanksgiving as an important holiday. A recent campus survey indicated that, out of more than 1,000 students, 64 percent agreed that Thanksgiving should officially be replaced with an extended Christmas, while almost 12 percent didn’t even know what Thanksgiving was. Another 8 percent stated that, if they were not given homework over the break, they might have something worth being thankful for.

Though Thanksgiving has lost its foothold as this middle-ground holiday over the years, another celebration could help to ease the culture shock between Halloween and Christmas. Reba Zimmerman, a senior employee at The Bookie, argued that there is already a day that can perform this function.

“Black Friday is the perfect way to make the transition,” she said. “The shopper violence is really reminiscent of Halloween, but it kicks off the Christmas shopping season. It’s a perfect mix of both holidays.”

Zimmerman stated that she bought all of her Christmas gifts in The Bookie last year. She planned to do the same this year.

“Something about Coug gear just makes people go wild,” she said. “The Christmas-themed stuff is even better. After all, ‘tis the season.’ ”

Anna Young is a freshman creative writing major from Helena, Montana. She can be contacted at [email protected]