America’s sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence is talented, hilarious and now edible. That’s right–a company called BiteLabs is offering celebrity meat to the people.

The process is simple. The cells responsible for growth and repair of muscles are biopsied from celebrities (with consent) and developed in a lab into pieces of muscle. Those pieces of muscle are ground together with spices and herbs, stuffed into a casing and aged to salami perfection.

Thanks to Twitter, Instagram and now BiteLabs, we can know what our celebrities are eating for lunch, while eating our celebrities for lunch!

Sound a little ridiculous? That’s because it is. Though BiteLabs doesn’t actually produce or sell any human meat, it does use satire to open a dialogue about celebrity worship in America.

BiteLabs currently promotes artisan salami made from Jennifer Lawrence, Kanye West, James Franco and Ellen DeGeneres. It also encourages customers to tweet at their favorite celebrities to join the menu.

Imagine watching the next Super Bowl with hot wings, chips, dip and salami made from the players on your favorite team. 

BiteLabs says that eating celebrities is the newest way to feel close and connected to the singers and performers we love. In the future, athletes won’t just be featured on Wheaties boxes anymore; they’ll be in the box too.

Think of the celebrity-centric behavior Americans exhibit. We make gifs of their interviews, buy prop replicas from their movies and hang posters of them in our dorms. We are literal followers of celebrities on Twitter and Instagram.

What’s really concerning is that the famous meat hyperbole isn’t terribly unrealistic. A fan girl smuggling a Harry Styles salami on rye into a One Direction concert sounds entirely probable.

Not everyone obsesses over celebrities. In fact, some students we asked on the street didn’t have a favorite celebrity at all. And yet, the famous still attract millions of followers on Instagram.

The media constantly criticizes celebrity dress and behavior because America loves to dissect every detail of celebrities’ lives. Tabloids only exist because people buy them.

Maybe the day won’t come when I look down at my deli chicken salad and read Tina Fey in the ingredients list. But I wish there would come a day when I didn’t have to hear about the Kanye-Kardashian baby getting her ears pierced.

The question isn’t would you eat Justin Timberlake salami or would you prefer him as taco meat but rather, why do we care so much about celebrities? After all, they’re meat just like us.

STREET TALK

Questions: Who is your favorite celebrity? Would you eat his or her meat?

Answers:

“Russell Wilson. Um…yeah? If it’s sausage…” – Alex Tsoukalas

“That’s weird.” – Salena Jordan

“Jimmy Fallon. No…I wouldn’t eat it.” – Amalah Riggs

“Channing Tatum. No, that’s cannibalism.” – Xavier Elias Castro-Tobias

“Willie Robertson, Duck Commander CEO. I would not eat him if he were made into meat.” – Matt Fay

“Kim Kardashian. No.” – Clarence Baber

“Hugh Jackman or Russell Crowe. No, I wouldn’t want to eat my favorite celebrity.” – Niloofar Hezarjaribi

“Logic. No, that’s like cannibalism, even though it’s in a lab.” – Cesar Guerrero

(Can’t find)

“Drake. No… I wouldn’t want to.” – Juan Carlos Flores

“Kristen Bell. I don’t think so.” – Pollyanne De Oliveira Carvalho Malaquias