Virginity not a big deal

SARAH HARTMAN | Evergreen columnist

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Why is virginity such a big deal?

It’s funny that something which lasts less than five minutes can draw so much attention and so many opinions pertaining to who, what, where, when and why our first time should be.

After talking to some of my friends still in high school, I remembered how important and publicly displayed everyone’s V card status was. When I was in high school, people who weren’t my friends would spread rumors about my virginity: who I had lost it to, when I had lost it and how many people I had slept with.

People lose their virginity for many different reasons. Everyone’s situation is unique and most likely filled with awkward memories that we try to repress.

Here’s the problem. We have let society create a stigma against virginity that lets it define what it means for us.

Society’s fuss over promiscuity is diverting attention away from the real problem. We have these double standards that are impossible to live up to.

We are either labeled a prude or a slut.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention conducted a study on college students’ sexual behavior and found that 79.5 percent of college students had had sexual intercourse.

Despite the large number of students who are sexually active, slut shaming has become very prominent in society and in college. This has created a couple of college virginity stereotypes.

First, there is the “religious girl.” She goes to church every Sunday and is very adamant about waiting for marriage. She is labeled as a prude and is considered boring because of her beliefs.

Then there is the exact opposite, the “promiscuous girl.” She wakes up in a different bed every Sunday. She is judged harshly for her passionate pastimes and is labeled a slut.

The male equivalent to the slut is the “douchebag.” He is afraid of commitment, shies away from emotional attachment and “just wants to get the full college experience.” He fills his college experience with a different girl every night and is labeled a “man-whore.”

Last but not least is the “nice guy.” He is the emotional support of every girl he knows, and girls text him Sunday mornings to vent about the night before. He is “friend-zoned,” and everyone doubts that he has ever been laid.

There is a huge misconception that everyone is casually “hooking up” in college. The American College Health Association-National College Health Assessment found that 80 percent of college students had just one or no sexual partners.

Even with this statistic many people believe that the college lifestyle is completely centered on random hookups.

College is a time in our lives where we are meant to experiment; it’s a sexual liberation of sorts. A time when, unlike high school, no one should care about what you do or who you do.

To be a virgin or not to be a virgin, that is the question. And the answer is simple. There should be no negative connotations of the word virgin, and no one should be shamed for what he or she chooses.

If you choose to lose it, do it whenever with whomever, wherever you please. Figure out what your virginity means to you and don’t let society, or anyone for that matter, label it.