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Letter from the Mint editor: Would you smoke crack for $1 million

Daydreaming distracts from reality, thoughts of cult leadership, more

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Letter from the Mint editor: Would you smoke crack for $1 million

NICK SANDIFER | EVERGREEN CARTOONIST

NICK SANDIFER | EVERGREEN CARTOONIST

NICK SANDIFER | EVERGREEN CARTOONIST

LAUREN ELLENBECKER, Evergreen mint editor

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Daydreaming is a wonder that I will never get tired of experiencing because of the creative ideas that I’m left with afterwards – but sh-t, I’m trying to get an education and my musings are getting in the way.

To create a visualization, it’s as if I’m in an oversized arm­chair, wrapped in a blanket and intensely focused on a favorite show of mine. Then all of a sud­den a 9-foot-tall Amazon warrior holding a tiger cub dressed like a dragon steps directly in front of my program. Distracting, huh?

When my mind wanders away from the work I have at hand, I tend to think of silly hypothetical situations and even more absurd questions to go along with them.

Something I think of often is what my life would be like if I was immortal. I don’t mean your Count Dracula type of immortal­ity — rather, just living your life for an eternity. It would be hard to see my loved ones leave my life, but aren’t you curious about what the future holds? Perhaps the Earth would hurl itself into the sun just as I start to have fun with my immortality.

Another situation I put myself in involves me finding a book about my life. I know what you might be thinking — yes, it’s exact­ly like Will Ferrell’s predicament in “Stranger Than Fiction” (sorry “Elf” fans). Although I’m eager to hear spoilers sometimes, I don’t know if I’d want them in this case and you can bet I wouldn’t read my book all the way to the end.

As for the questions, they vary from light-hearted topics such as what snack you’d eat for the rest of your life to darker subject matter, like what’s the worst way to die. However, for your sake and mine let’s stay away from those please.

So, let’s start. If you had your current mental capacity but were in an insect’s body, what insect would that be? Personally, I would say that being a butterfly would be the safest and most aesthetical­ly-pleasing choice because no one would want to kill you, except for those stinking frogs.

Let’s say that for some reason someone wanted to entertain themselves by offering you $1 million if you smoked their crack, would you do it? Honestly, I don’t think I’d have the men­tal and physical ability to resist having more crack, therefore my hard-earned $1 million would go toward more drugs. Soon I’d be sitting on top of my large hill of “boost,” a hip street name for crack.

If you had the opportunity to wear a watch that was pro­grammed to count down to the exact moment you died, would you do it? Once you put it on it can’t come off. That’s right, it’s waterproof and bulletproof. Although you could cover it, the temptation might eat you up.

I’ll leave you with one more question. If you were a cult leader, what would be your cult’s mis­sion be and how would you work toward that goal? I still have yet to work out the kinks of mine but when you have your answer, tell me so I can join ASAP.

About the Writer
LAUREN ELLENBECKER, Evergreen reporter

Lauren is a junior journalism major from Anchorage, AK. She was the mint editor in fall 2018.

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Letter from the Mint editor: Would you smoke crack for $1 million