Good body image carries weight in the bedroom

Good+body+image+carries+weight+in+the+bedroom

Good body image carries weight in the bedroom

I have never seen my grandmother wear makeup.

Sixty-five years ago, my grandfather told her that she didn’t need to wear it because she was already beautiful. Since then, she hasn’t.

Naturally, as they began to build their family, her hips widened and her weight fluctuated. My grandfather always reminded her that he would love her at any size. Seven pregnancies later, there she was, confident and in love.

For years I sought after her sense of self, wondering if she ever struggled with her body image the way that I do. As a modern woman, I have become accustomed to the airbrushed, edited and surgically amplified human form. It has become my standard, even though I know it is physically unattainable.

As a result, I struggle with my body image every day. As The Rolling Stones so eloquently put it, “I can’t get no satisfaction,” and apparently, neither can you.

About 90 percent of college-aged women and 80.9 percent of college-aged men report being unhappy with their weight, according to a study in the International Journal of Eating Disorders in 2007.

Similarly, a survey in Glamour magazine found that 97 percent of its female participants admitted to having at least one ‘I hate my body’ moment during the day.

These statistics are not only disheartening, but they don’t bode well for bedroom endeavors.

Psychological research indicates that a person’s body image and sexual attitudes are directly linked. Consequently, poor body image is one primary contributor to sexual anxiety identified by physicians.

Experts at Planned Parenthood explain that people with long-lasting negative self-images are more likely to avoid any activity that puts their body on display. This includes going swimming, attending doctor’s appointments, and having sex. These people are also more likely to take risks with their sexual health if they do decide to be sexually active.

“I will avoid certain positions because of how my skin folds over, and I think about if my stomach could jiggle a little. I can’t say that I have ever felt 100 percent confident about my body during sex,” said freshman business major Tayler Foley.

Foley is not alone. Dr. Hilda Hutcherson, a sexual health expert, describes this experience as “becoming a spectator” of your own sexual act. Hutcherson explained in an appearance on the Rachael Ray Show that negative body image is the culprit for the majority of female sexual anxiety.

“You say ‘Oh don’t touch, don’t look at this, don’t look at that, and before you know it the sex is over,’” Hutcherson explained.

You end up so distracted that you become turned off.

While we generally regard body image as a female problem, men struggle as well. The chiseled model on the cover of Men’s Health has invaded men’s minds just as viciously as the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show haunts our dreams.

In fact, men now make up 30 percent of those in this country diagnosed with an eating disorder, according to the National Eating Disorders Association.

It’s safe to say that we all struggle with our physical imperfections.

However, someone once told me something about sexual attraction that I will never forget. It helped me understand my grandmother’s self-confidence and my grandparents’ marriage.

He said that after the initial physical attraction wears off, you find a deeper reason to be sexually attracted to your partner.

“I think about how successful, smart and wanted they are,” he said. “Then I think about the fact that a person like that trusts me enough to be intimate with. That is what makes them sexier than anything physical.”

Those words have changed the way I see human sexuality. Keeping them in mind, I urge you to find your inner ‘sexy.’ Find something from within that you excel at that makes you feel beautiful each and every day. If you’re witty, caring, understanding, or intelligent, derive your confidence from that.

These qualities are timeless and will withstand any physical change you undergo in your lifetime.