Satire: Stereotypes for certain majors more accurate, not offensive

Art, STEM, business students can be classified by discipline; meet new friends with same interests



Enter the library and observe crying STEM majors, business majors drinking Starbucks and ultra-organized engineering students.

MILA WIDMAYER, Evergreen columnist

A girl with vibrantly colored hair walks past, her checkered vans complimenting her mustard yellow overalls perfectly.

“When they cut the film minor I was pissed,” said Sage Clearwater, a second-year undeclared fine arts major. “How am I supposed to learn about avant-garde Dutch documentaries now?”

“Like that’ll help you land a career later in life,” said Albert Hawking, a first-year mechanical engineering major. He opens his 15-ring binder to check which exam he has time to study for before he has to go tutor fifth years.

Walking through the first floor of Todd Hall, a group of boys in cargo shorts brag about how many beers they shotgunned last night. It is a Wednesday, and there is at least a foot of snow on the ground.

“I didn’t really know what I came to WSU for, but my communication teacher is pretty hot,” said Chad Kennedy, a freshman who’s looking into kinesiology. “I’m just trying to figure out how long I can put off taking History 105.”

The library is eerily deserted, save for a group of students surrounded by crushed cans of Red Bull. A pillow is on the desk and I hear someone crying.

“I’m a neuroscience major,” said Sarah Jenkins, a sophomore. “Do you know how many extra classes I have to take just for the pre-med certification? I’m already working on my MCATs. I haven’t been to my dorm room in three days.”

“The MCATs are nothing,” said a person adjacent to Jenkins. This is Miles Davidson, a third-year criminal justice major. “The LSATs are the hardest exam known to man.”

A person is sleeping in the hallway of Johnson Tower. There is a pile of books next to him, the cover of one titled “Essentials of Abnormal Psychology: 1st Edition.” Just because people call it a soft science doesn’t mean it isn’t STEM.

Back in Todd Hall, there are a group of girls working on a project right outside the Carson College of Business. On the table between them, half-consumed Starbucks cups are surrounded by pink planners with the best handwriting ever witnessed. There are more colored pens on the coffee table that are available at The Bookie.

“There are a lot of group projects, but my sisters gave me all their old coursework from last semester,” said Samantha Barnes, a senior hospitality business management major. Her Adidas are the brightest shade of white, paling the snow in comparison.

WSU offers a vast array of studies to choose from, and the communities within each major are diverse in their own right. College is a time to explore and find people who share similar interests. If you own more than one pair of overalls, check out what’s going on in the Fine Arts Center, as there may be someone with a glass of dark roast coffee just waiting to be your friend.