College is a haven for creators and visionaries; an opportunity to break through the societal beliefs that construct communities.

In other words, it is a primary birthplace of many great artists, in all different forms, from painting to singing to designing to writing to performing. Many believe that like beauty, art is in the eye of the beholder, meaning its significance is created from our interpretations. Art has created a great deal of social change throughout the centuries, as it often reflects commonly-held values and beliefs of the time.

Without further ado, I would like to announce the victors of the 2017 College Art Awards, sponsored by adult coloring books and those glow-in-the-dark felt pen things.

The award for most creative idea goes to the student who produced the piece of art entitled, “Salvador Deli.” “Deli,” a two-week-old Subway foot-long ham sub, has been praised by local art critics for its multitude of meanings and mysterious backstory.

The winner of the award for most derivative work goes to the builder of “32 Top Ramen Packages,” a breathtaking sculpture in its entirety. The Top Ramen packages construction reportedly cost the student three hours and $2.48.

The award for most humorous art pun goes to the painter of “Claude Monet,” a Monopoly Man-esque character named Claude who has a dollar sign on his hat and rests on his golden throne.

The student who accidentally knocked over the painting supplies, creating an enormous mess on their canvas, won the Jackson Pollock award. The winner of this award is to be judged by similarity of their work to the Gum Wall in Seattle, both in design and consistency. The student was relieved to hear that their hard work would not go to waste as they washed their rainbow-plastered hands, reliving the horrific disaster.

The winner of the Van Gogh award for the piece of art that you would cut your ear off for goes to “The Bar-ry Night.” This unbelievable composition of Pullman’s local taverns depicts Valhalla, The Coug, Stubblefields and the rest of the bars in the community. This is the kind of work that you would probably dismember yourself for, as a certain Dutch post-impressionist did so long ago.

The award for biggest square goes to the student who sketched a colored pencil drawing of their family and friends, using Picasso’s cubism method. When reached for further comment on their work, the student apparently told reporters that the bizarre distortion of shapes and images actually made their little brother look “not as ugly.”

Last but not least, the winner for most vigilant, otherwise known as the Banksy award, goes to the unnamed local who painted socially-relevant, progressive graffiti messages around town. When an invitation was extended for comment on their work the anonymous artist could not be reached, to the surprise of no one.

Chris Arneson is a senior sports management major from Bothell. He can be contacted at [email protected].