Valentine’s Day dos and don’ts

CHRIS ARNESON, Evergreen columnist

Valentine’s Day is the most polarizing holiday; cherished by some, detested by others, and forgotten by the rest. For those who love the holiday, it is their chance to show affection for their close ones. For others, it is just another weeknight to watch basketball in a post-Super Bowl haze.

With the big holiday right around the corner, here is some advice on how to find that one true love.

Do: Give lots of presents to friends, family, and anyone you would like to be friendly with. Nothing works better to start relationships than bribery, especially if the gifts are expensive, delicious, smell good, or all the above. For bonus points, find out what the individual’s favorite TV show is and give them the complete series on DVD to show how much you really care.

Don’t: Give someone an edible gift if you are not aware of what they are allergic to. Nothing ruins a potential date like a romantic trip to the emergency room, followed by a night of watching soap operas with one of those pillows that sounds like a bag of Sun Chips.

Do: Get in the spirit of the season by dressing up in red clothes, preferably with hearts on them. Extra points for articles of clothing displaying images of bears, cats, cookies, hot chocolate or your grandmother at the park.

Don’t: Ruin this festive time of year for the people who enjoy it. In other words, if Valentine’s Day is your least favorite day of the year, don’t be a Grinch about it. Especially if it’s that creepy Jim Carrey Grinch that gave me nightmares as a child. Nobody needs that in their life.

Do: Make cookies for your favorite professor; chocolate chip with peanut butter would be ideal. It is never too early to earn brownie points with that teacher in your most difficult class. You could also bring brownies if you are feeling adventurous.

Don’t: Stress out about not having a date on the most romantic night of the year. As much as it may feel like it sometimes, there is no studio audience watching your every move and judging you. Life is more of a single camera sitcom like The Office than something multi-camera like Two and a Half Men anyway.

Do: Something fun and out of the ordinary to celebrate the day, whether it is just buying a maple bar from the gas station or adopting a kitten from the local animal shelter.

Don’t: Kick yourself for forgetting the big day until it’s too late. How is it even possible to kick yourself, anyway? I would like to see a video of Messi trying to kick himself and discovering one of the few things he cannot accomplish with his feet.

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, you can never be too prepared for the romantic adventures that will follow. Those were just a few dos and don’ts for the most important day of the year for all you lovers out there.

Chris Arneson is a senior sports management major from Bothell,. He can be contacted at [email protected]