SATIRE: Stop stigmatizing grown adults that trick or treat

What, you’ve never seen a 30-year-old in a costume? Mind your own business

PAUL MEDRUD, Evergreen columnist

It’s all fun and games until you aren’t allowed to have fun anymore. That’s the feeling most college students have when their favorite elementary school traditions are suddenly stripped from them.

“I just wanted to dress as a mummy. I didn’t do anything wrong,” said Vincent Dehores, Halloween enthusiast now barred from continuing his passion.

The times have changed since we were kids. At one time, it may have been acceptable and funny to dress up as a pickle and go door-to-door looking for candy. But since then, those times have fallen by the wayside, because many people find that idea creepy.

“I’m not stalking anyone, I’m just playing as my character!” Dehores said, unaware that he was looking through someone’s window.

This revelation brings up an ethical question, “Why can’t I trick or treat?”

We aren’t going to go too deep into this, but let’s think for a second. Outside of a Halloween party, where can you look awkward in front of your friends?

“I walk out in a sexy male Minion costume at my parents’ Halloween party and all of a sudden I’m disowned by my family. I couldn’t believe it, but I couldn’t blame them,” said Stephan Kandee, now living on the streets of Pullman.

When it comes to trick-or-treating, there’s something a bit off when you’re older than 90 percent of the kids trick-or-treating, roaming around with parents giving you looks.

“When I was out last year, there was the sense that I didn’t belong. It might’ve been because I was the only one out,” said Sarah Velasquez, a senior at WSU.

On the WSU campus, however, it doesn’t mean you can’t have your own fun. You might not be allowed to trick or treat by societal conventions that are holding you down, but here you can choose your own path. Trick-or-treating can take on a new light called “drinking enough that you puke and pass out,” which follows the trick or treat formula with a dark twist, but if drinking isn’t something you want to fall into, experiencing the fun of a pumpkin patch might be something you enjoy.

“One moment I’m putting a pumpkin in this huge slingshot. The next moment my friend Jerry’s head is gone,” said Kaine Thunderman, now grieving over his lost friend.

Pullman and Moscow are home to many different places to celebrate Halloween cheer for all ages. There’s corn mazes, haunted houses and much more you can see.

And if worse comes to worst, you can start trick-or-treating at your own dorm, bothering people in their rooms and asking for candy, but it’s best that you plan it out before you go out and do it.

So, if the stress of society is bearing down on you now that your old Halloween costumes are no longer allowed to be worn, you can always fall back on a Halloween activity you seriously enjoy.