The Daily Evergreen

Love languages: How to understand your man

LATISHA JENSEN | Evergreen columnist

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Many women think a man’s need for sex is how he expresses his love and his feelings for them, but I think differently.

You probably have assumed that all he wants is sex, but there may be an underlying reason to this behavior that makes you believe he’s only in it to score.

Joe Kort wrote an article for Psychology Today, revealing myths about men’s sexuality.

Just as women want to feel intimately connected to their significant other, men have the same desires; they just have a different love language, which happens to be sex.

Kort illuminates the importance of shifting away from expecting men to be at the same emotional and vocabulary level as women naturally are; but, rather, women should begin to understand where their man stands emotionally.

This could help improve communication within relationships. If women are willing to learn how a man expresses his feelings, chances are he will eventually begin to feel more inclined to expose the feelings he’s been hiding from.

According to Barbara Markway for Psychology Today, the stereotype that men don’t have feelings can be detrimental to relationships, but boys have been taught all their lives to not cry, to not feel or verbally express emotion.

Markway explains how men have feelings just like women, but only express them where they feel safe, such as sporting events, where men tend to be affectionate and excited.

“Men may convert stereotypically feminine feelings, such as sadness or vulnerability, into feelings like anger or pride — feelings more socially acceptable for them to experience,” Markway stated in her article.

This is the reality that men experience growing up, causing many women to misinterpret a man’s intention towards her or leave her confused as to why he is not opening up, when it could simply be that they never learned how.

Markway describes how men sometimes have trouble identifying their own emotions and are unable to understand why and how they are feeling a certain way.

Men are taught at a young age in this society that they need to always be tough and that revealing sentimental emotion is seen as feminine.

It’s time to dig deeper into the minds of men and break the standard that we have set for them. Make it clear that you’re there for him and will listen to him express his feelings without immediate judgment. We can start by understanding how our words make him feel.

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Love languages: How to understand your man