Not-so casual sex

College is the land where anything goes, but if you’re not careful sometimes that mentality can get you in somewhat of a personal crisis.

It can be a taboo to some, but when it comes to sex sometimes facing reality is smarter than living a lie.

There is this societal standard, especially in college, that having casual sex with many different people is the thing to do, but for women especially, this can lead to a psychological breakdown and a decreased feeling of self-worth.

Over the years as carefree sex has become more of the norm, women have set their emotional needs aside to become more accommodating because they are under the impression that this is the only thing men want.

This idea that love can be separated from sex is simply untrue, and there are certain parts of a woman’s brain that get activated during sex, which can have an effect on our emotions.

According to a Rutgers University study that showed the different types of hormones that are released in the brain during sex, oxytocin is one hormone that activates the part of the brain that is responsible for trust and attachment for women.

 It seems as though most men can separate sex with emotion, which allows them to engage in sexual behavior that has no strings attached. However, women carry a heavier burden.

Women live under the stigma that they get too involved in their emotions, so when a sexual relationship turns sour, it is the woman who takes the blame as “being too attached.”

Movies and TV shows are the biggest culprit when it comes to a misrepresentation of sex. They will show characters engaging in casual sex, but won’t show the repercussions of those actions. Usually, they show a “happily ever after” ending that one won’t see in the real world.

Shows such as “Sex and the City” and “Grey’s Anatomy” have a skewed representation of what casual sex entails. Not once do any of these shows have a female character struggle with the toll it can take on emotions. Girls who are easily impressionable believe that is what a healthy sex life should look like.

Sex used to be an act between two people to express their love, but now it’s turned into something people regard with such a callous attitude and perspective.

Some women mistake sex for love in the sense that having sex will land them a relationship. In reality, no successful relationship is based purely on sex.

A real relationship is one that is based on communication, and honesty along with emotional and physical connection. This backwards assumption that a healthy relationship comes from sex can only end in confusion.

So ladies, there is never a reason to alter the personal standards you hold for yourself because everyone else is doing something that you’re not. If we live in a world where we succumb to any new trend, we will eventually lose sight of what is real and important. 

 

-Dominique Wald is a senior communication major from Santa Clara, Calif. She can be contacted at 335-2290 or by [email protected]. The opinions expressed in this Column are not necessarily those of the staff of The Daily Evergreen or those of Student Publications.