One is silver, the other gold

By Jennifer Ladwig | Evergreen relationship columnist

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It’s inevitable: High school relationships diminish when you go to college. Whether it’s a romantic relationship or just a friendship, odds are, it won’t stay strong through the transition into college.

This can be a hard reality for some people to accept.

One of my best friends in high school has been along for the ride since preschool. We met like all preschoolers do, playing with the toys, the typical “I like your doll, let’s be best friends.” It all started that fateful day, and we’re still friends today. No matter how much she’d like to think I’m still the same person as the last day of high school, I’m not. None of us are.

Every time I come home from school on break, my old friends want to get the gang together and act like nothing’s changed. But everything has changed.

We’ve spent the last few months taking new classes, working, making new friends and memories, and there is no way you can get to the point of knowing everything about each other again after that break.

The solution to this problem? Don’t expect things to be the same, because they won’t be. This is such an intense time for all of us; we’re growing up, becoming adults, making decisions. We don’t have time to be stuck in high school, the drama is too time-consuming for college life.

I’m not saying wanting your high school friends to be your best friends forever makes you a bad friend or immature. I’m also not saying if you don’t give a flip about your old friends you’re a terrible person. You need to find a balance between your old friends and your new ones, so old memories may be preserved while making new ones.

Especially in your first year as a college student, you will most likely want to take every opportunity to go home. You will want to see all of your old friends on every break and miss them all year round. Once you start getting more involved on campus, making new friends and memories, these old friends will become more distant. Some people have a hard time accepting this, and you have to be respectful that that’s where they are right now. If their constant desire to see you every day of break is getting annoying, then tell them nicely that you’re busy.

Do not just brush them off like they don’t matter, it’s not like now that you’re in college high school friends don’t matter. They can still enrich your life in so many ways. Learn what your friends need from you and what you need from them, and accept that this will change from year to year.

Jennifer Ladwig is a sophomore Communication major from Washougal. She can be contacted at 335-1140 or by [email protected] The opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of the staff of The Daily Evergreen or those of The Office of Student Media.