The Daily Evergreen

OPINION: Satire: Why the next Olympics should be held in Antarctica

OPINION: Satire: Why the next Olympics should be held in Antarctica

DIANA RIOS April 8, 2021

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to watch ridiculously talented athletes compete not only against each other but also against the elements? I don’t exactly mean a competition in Siberia or...

Edmund is trading in The North Face rain jacket for a Cougar Football jersey.

OPINION: Satire: The new saga, Vampires in Pullman 

PORTIA SIMMONS April 1, 2021

Pullman recently welcomed the Callum family to the area. Although this might seem like insignificant information, there is more than what meets the eye when it comes to the Callums. Through an in-depth...

Search for the greatest album: OK Computer by Radiohead

Search for the greatest album: OK Computer by Radiohead

COLE QUINN, Evergreen photo editor February 4, 2021

For generations, our ancestors have been performing and creating musical compositions. How harmonious vibrations can soothe the human brain into multiple emotions is uncanny compared to any other art form. Since...

Celebrities, as the smartest and brightest of our society, need all the help we can give them.

OPINION: Satire: Protect our billionaires from coronavirus

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor May 27, 2020

As Jeff Bezos crosses that holy border from billionaire to trillionaire, hundreds of thousands of Americans are out of work. As Chrissy Teigen complains about artisan cookware, laid-off workers are wondering...

Protestors and politicians alike are both, in their own way, reacting poorly to this pandemic.

OPINION: Satire: Protestors, politicians respond to COVID-19

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor May 20, 2020

As states continue to deal with the coronavirus pandemic, tensions around the country flare as people demand the reopening of businesses and services. Protesters in Michigan, Washington and other hard-hit...

Dogs and cats have responded very differently to the coronavirus quarantine.

OPINION: Satire: Dogs and cats react to the quarantine

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor May 13, 2020

While many have studied and acknowledged the impact of the quarantine on the economy, local business and healthcare workers, few have examined the effect the lockdown has had on our furry animal companions....

COVID-19 totally isn't the start of the zombie apocalypse we hope ...

SATIRE: The dead walk

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor March 9, 2020

Does the recent coronavirus outbreak have anything to do with the mysterious surge of violent crimes in the Whitman County area that some claim is the result of a “zombie infection”? No, is the...

All ye who enter here, bring forth your music tastes to the Oracle and face the judgment of truth!

SATIRE: You don’t know real music

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen reporter February 20, 2020

A recent discovery at WSU may change the fate of music forever. Deep in the bowels of the Kimbrough Music Building, tucked away in a secret practice room, music minor Harold Hyscoming found a being...

SATIRE: Students scrape last cash for V-Day

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen reporter February 13, 2020

Love is in the air at WSU as students plan their celebration of Valentine’s Day this Friday. Sophomore Han Grie said he’s been planning his Valentine’s Day for months. He worked three jobs over...

OPINION: SATIRE: Give other groups the Bachelor

OPINION: SATIRE: Give other groups the Bachelor

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor February 10, 2020

Everyone’s familiar with ABC’s “The Bachelor,” a hot mess of spray tans and off-brand Ryan Seacrest impersonators. Women, it seems, enter a semi-rabid state of mind at the sight of a chiseled...

Why are the small fees the most annoying ones? It is almost as if WSU is trying to get every last penny they can out of every single student.

SATIRE: Stop nickel-and- diming me, WSU

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor February 7, 2020

When you’re considering college costs, it’s important to remember that tuition, housing and books don’t necessarily cover everything. There are costs that’ll nickel-and-dime you, sneaking little...

I used to play bingo with a black guy and we got along fine. I don’t get how anyone could call me racist.

SATIRE: Black History Month is a struggle

JOEL KEMEGUE, Evergreen mint editor February 6, 2020

As an old white man (obviously) I’ve lived through more Black History Months than most people have. I can say, as the old white man that I clearly am, that I’ve usually opted out of the occasion...

Load More Stories
Activate Search
The student voice of Washington State University since 1895
Satire