Satire – The Daily Evergreen

SATIRE: Fraternity faces backlash after refusing to haze

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen columnist

August 21, 2019

Allegations have surfaced of questionable activities in WSU’s Gamma Gamma Gamma fraternity. Several pledges reported incidents to Student Conduct of fraternity members partaking in respectable, gentlemanly conduct, resulting in an investigation of the fraternity. This includes playing beach volleyball...

Satire: intro into sports ball for non-sports ballers

JAYCE CARRAL, Evergreen columnist

August 19, 2019

The world of sports ball is incredibly confusing and long-winded because of the number of rules, players and a whole bunch of other nonsense. The basic rule of sports is to mimic the words and actions of those around. Break a leg, and go sports! The Soccer Soccer is a sport popular in several count...

Satire: Student recounts horrific mom’s weekend events

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen columnist

April 11, 2019

Satire (noun): the use of humor, irony, exaggeration or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. None of this is real. It’s a f-cking joke. When then-17-year-old Kylie Redmond received a banner ...

Satire: STEM majors host union meeting, discuss difficulties

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen columnist

April 4, 2019

Satire (noun): the use of humor, irony, exaggeration or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. None of this is real. It’s a f-cking joke. The WSU Union of STEM Students (WUSS) held an open fo...

Satire: Parents, professionals rig WSU admissions process

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen columnist

March 21, 2019

In light of the recent national college admissions scandal, the Whitman County Bureau of Investigation looked into WSU’s admissions process and uncovered a similar scandal involving parents and several illegitimate professionals. It’s been said that all a person needs to get into WSU is a heartbeat, but ...

Satire: Students opt to party in Pullman, at home for break

MARA JOHNSON, Evergreen columnist

March 7, 2019

With the last week-long break of the school year coming up, students are hard at work preparing their beach bodies for the fun about to begin. I’m just kidding. A lot of college students are too broke for a break, and the fantasy of a beachy spring extravaganza was given to us by 22 Jump Street...

Satire: Spare your car with winter weather driving tricks

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen columnist

February 28, 2019

Due to the increasingly severe winter weather in Pullman and surrounding areas, the Palouse Department of Transportation (PDT) has released a series of tips for local drivers to promote safe automobile practices. Department Head Jim Brevins said the first thing to do is to go all-out with precautionary...

Satire: Rely on substances to get through midterm season

MARA JOHNSON, Evergreen columnist

February 21, 2019

As midterms approach, students are discovering new ways to study for various exams or quizzes that might come their way. Some students, however, don’t have midterms and sit around smoking while the rest of us suffer sleepless nights trying to pass our tests and keep our scholarships. To the lazy...

Satire: Stereotypes for certain majors more accurate, not offensive

MILA WIDMAYER, Evergreen columnist

February 21, 2019

A girl with vibrantly colored hair walks past, her checkered vans complimenting her mustard yellow overalls perfectly. “When they cut the film minor I was pissed,” said Sage Clearwater, a second-year undeclared fine arts major. “How am I supposed to learn about avant-garde Dutch documentaries...

Satire: Students disappoint grandparents on Valentine’s Day

MARA JOHNSON, Evergreen columnist

February 14, 2019

Whatever your plans may be on this loveless day, Happy Valentine’s Day. Everyone has their own special plans, whether that’s with a loved one or maybe with the 2/10 you found for the night to make yourself feel better about being alone. People see Valentine’s Day as a way to show love and affection...

Satire: Use unconventional tricks to stay healthy this winter

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen columnist

February 7, 2019

Though the groundhog predicted an early spring, winter sicknesses can still invade and make the life of any student miserable. Common cold, flu, measles — in Washington, there’s a season for everything. Fortunately, experts have compiled a list of ways to stay healthy and prevent the spread of...

Satire: WSU students will compete in annual Poor Olympics

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen columnist

January 31, 2019

FAFSA season brings with it the arrival of the Poor Olympics, an annual event at colleges around the world where middle-class students compete to out-broke their similarly middle-class peers. Historically, the Poor Olympics began when small communities of college students began practicing the art...