Kibitzer Korner: Platonic breakups and professional pregaming

LAUREN ELLENBECKER, Evergreen reporter

“How do you get over a breakup with someone you never dated?” – Mike Hunt

There are multiple ways to fall for someone, regardless if it’s intentional or not.

You could have been best friends with them, or maybe they are the most beautiful person in your class and your admiration soon became an intense attraction.

First off, realize that there isn’t an existing relationship. Consider why you are feeling these things. Maybe you’re going through tough times and need some emotional support, perhaps you’re horny; either way, let’s think of how to keep it in your emotional and actual pants.

Once you have come to terms with the actuality of your situation, you need to tell yourself the truth. It may be hard to hear, but you might be emotionally vulnerable and they were the first person you latched onto.

Realize that continuing this one-sided relationship or hoping it’ll turn into something bigger is not worth it. You deserve some booty that wants yours as much as you want theirs.

In order to come to that conclusion, I suggest that you stop reading into things and put an end to this “relationship.” Review your fond memories of this person and dump ’em.

Something important to remember is that you don’t have to be in this alone. Reach out to your support system without the fear of being met with judgement; good friends will happily help you release your sadness or find a rebound.

Make sure you move on. Go out and meet someone new; you know what they say: the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.

“How do you not over game the pregame?” – Ophelia Bahls

You know you’re having a fun time if you have to check your pulse to see if you’re alive while partying, but if you have to do this 15 minutes into the pregame, you may have to calm down a bit.

Pregaming must be done correctly because this ritual starts your night on the right note; you don’t want to be blackout drunk before the actual event.

For inspiration to chill before the game, consider this: nobody says “you were the life of the pregame.” Lucky for you, there are plenty of ways to solve your problems.

Similar to hastily binge-watching a series on Netflix, rushing into a pregame will make you sick; instead of getting sick of the show, you will literally get sick and vomit. No one wants that. So don’t try to play catch up; chances are that they have been pacing themselves.

There’s the possibility of a pregame turning into a party, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have the responsibility to go to the game, whatever that entails. Avoid this at all costs because having a party in the comfort of your own home gives you the excuse to tap out early.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself. If you can’t remember how many drinks you’ve had in the past hour, you need to chill.

“Stocking up” to make it through the rest of the night sounds like a great idea, right? Nope. You don’t want to blackout at 10 p.m. and forget what happened at the game you pregamed for.

Don’t compete with your friends to see who can get the most drunk because it will result in a blackout or really stupid choices, like eating 100 tater tots as fast as you can. You’ll wake with a stomach ache and a hangover.

Pregame to a less aggressive playlist because as soon as “Caribou Lou” or “A Thousand Miles” plays through the speaker, you can guarantee you’ll feel as if you must take shots to the rhythm. I’m not saying you have to play Bach, but be aware of the effects music has on your drinking.

Now that you have tips on starting your night off right, be free, Wild One.

Lauren Ellenbecker is a sophomore studying communication from Anchorage, Alaska. She can be contacted at

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