Dear Life,

I keep wandering around Pullman, wondering if my soulmate is hiding in a dingy basement with LED lights or maybe just ghosting me via text. Is the frat boy who only texts me after 2 a.m. really the one, or am I too far gone into delusion? Help…

Sincerely, Overthinking Coug

Dear Overthinking Coug,

Let me save you the heartbreak, that frat boy? He is more than likely not your soulmate and is probably busy being someone else’s problem. Unfortunately, hookup culture has tainted our perception of love tremendously and it can feel like no one can win.

Dating in college is fun and traumatic all in one. It’s cheap Burnett’s bottles, tracking locations on Snapchat, and late-night Taco Bell runs that oddly feel intimate. You just need to pick your poison, swipe left on heartbreak or swipe right on potential suitors, and try not to lose yourself in your own existential dread while doing it.

The person you are currently in a situationship with could either be your endgame or a very important lesson. Maybe they teach you about boundaries, communication, or why you should never date someone with red flags and zero respect for their potential partners. Maybe they are part of your character development phase, or the one to trigger your personal healing era. Either way, your heart comes out wiser, stronger and with way better playlists.

Here is the truth nobody tells you: Finding true love is not the most important part of your life, but romantic love is a fraction of the greatness that adulthood brings.

You are more than just a frat boy’s girlfriend. You are a whole human being with complex emotions, wild ambitions, old wounds and an energy that deserves more than half-effort affection. Once you figure that out, your person will find you — probably while you’re thriving, laughing too loud, and radiating “I know my worth” energy.

We are at an age where you will have loved and lost, and that is not tragic; it is beautiful. Every heartbreak shapes you. Every almost-relationship adds depth. Love is one of life’s greatest wonders, but it is not the only one. You will fall in love with new places, with friendships that feel like family and with the quiet peace of knowing you are okay on your own. A relationship should never define you — it should amplify you.

Quit soulmate searching and start soul searching. Fall in love with yourself. Become the person you want to be.

So yes, your soulmate could be in Pullman, or they could be elsewhere, waiting for you to remember that you’re a masterpiece in motion, not just a student wandering the streets hoping someone finally texts back. Try not to accept defeat and marry a Husky.

Sincerely, the Life section.