OPINION: Satire: Hot ways to enjoy summer 

There are several ways to enjoy a safe summer, enjoy this comprehensive list

Phineas+and+Ferb+aren%27t+the+only+ones+who+know+how+to+have+a+great+summer.

LAUREN PETTIT

Phineas and Ferb aren’t the only ones who know how to have a great summer.

PORTIA SIMMONS, Evergreen columnist

As people are getting their vaccines, things will start to open up and we can relax a little during the summer. As a student, it might be hard due to financial restraints, but don’t worry. There are many free and fun ways to enjoy the summer. Below is a list to get you started! 

Take a vacation to somewhere hot 

Want a tropical vacation? Fly directly into the sun. At a temperature of 5,778 Kelvin, it is sure to warm your bones. Lay on the surface and get comfortable. Work on that summer tan you’ve been wanting all year. Third-degree burns are “in,” so get your dose of vitamin D!

Cool down at night 

Sometimes the summer nights can be very hot. In order to combat this, go all Han Solo in Star Wars and make a frozen version of yourself. You can spoon your frozen self on the couch and in bed in order to cool down. Self-love is also important! 

Design your own resort!

Go out to your dumpster and utilize your apartment’s trash. Look for empty boxes, milk jugs and wilting potted plants. Pour dirt into the boxes and use it as a sandy beach! Hook up the milk jugs and set up a waterfall. Use the plants for decoration. Who said Hawaii had to be so expensive?

Take a dip 

Organize a water day! Take a dip in the water fountain in downtown Moscow. It’s free water and it’s very refreshing! You might even make a profit by harvesting the pennies at the bottom. Don’t let the police tell you any different!

Go on a night walk

Take a night walk in one of the local jewelry stores. You can enter through a window and you will have plenty of free time and space to explore. Get some souvenirs by reaching into the glass cases! It’s an easy way to find that Mother’s Day gift you’ve been putting off.

Enjoy a day out on a boat

There will be many people out on the water in their different boats, but boats can be expensive to own or even rent. Find a boat tied up to the dock and take it out for a spin! In order to not get caught, find a small outlook and park your anchor. Now you can relax, drink a cold one and lounge in the sun. 

We all scream for ice cream! 

In order to track down the ice cream man, go outside and scream. Ice cream truck drivers are trained to respond with a Drumstick to a screaming individual. They will come soon. If not, take his mother hostage until he gives over the goods. Happy Mother’s Day, Mrs. Ice Cream.

Now, go have your hot girl summer!