The student voice of Washington State University since 1895

The Daily Evergreen

The student voice of Washington State University since 1895

The Daily Evergreen

The student voice of Washington State University since 1895

The Daily Evergreen

The birthday boy is aging faster than he thinks he is

Satire: I am turning 21

JOEY FRANKLIN March 9, 2023

Well, dear readers, this week marks the start of the rest of my life. I am at the ripe old age of 21. I already know what you’re going to say. “Really? The guy who writes about 1980s music and culture...

What is a little balloon and a camera going to really do anyways?

SATIRE: Don’t worry about the spy balloon!

JOEY FRANKLIN February 23, 2023

I’m sure by now you have all heard about the spy balloon that was cruising across the good ole U. S. of A. off the coast of South Carolina a couple of weeks ago. If I were you, I wouldn’t worry about...

AP just mistakenly shared one of the world-elites most elaborate secrets with the entire world.

Satire: ‘the French’ don’t actually exist

LUKE INGHAM, Evergreen columnist February 13, 2023

In a now-deleted Tweet, the Associated Press (AP) deemed “the” French as a term to be avoided according to the updated AP style guide. The AP cautioned against using the word “the” before a...

many have hypothesized Pullman may have recently converted some of their garbage trucks into Transformers as well

SATIRE: Pullman disposal messes with student sleep

MASON MARON February 13, 2023

Recent changes to the Pullman trash collection cycle have left many residents both frustrated and appalled. With trucks storming through the streets as early as 3 a.m. and as late as 5 a.m., locals argue...

I know that food is a big part of Valentine’s day traditions so I think I will push my Doordash account (and debit card) to their absolute limits

V-day a day for loneliness and self care

JOEY FRANKLIN February 9, 2023

One of the most humbling experiences of my life was filling out the FAFSA when I first got into WSU. My dad and I were trudging through the brutally long process when I came across “the question.”...

Maybe you could pull a Say anything and stand outside with a boombox in a trench coat

Satire: Text your ex this Valentine’s Day

LUKE INGHAM, Evergreen columnist February 9, 2023

Timing when to text your ex-partner is something many people spend way too much time thinking about. Many poor souls will spend weeks or even months contemplating whether to text their ex, but...

My breath should not make a cloud, it should turn in to snow

Satire: Are We Sure Pullman is Cold Enough?

JOEY FRANKLIN February 2, 2023

I was walking to the weekly staff meeting for The Daily Evergreen when I posed an important question to myself: “Are we sure Pullman is cold enough?” I mean, it only felt like the Arctic when I was...

A fox squirrel on the WSU Pullman campus, Nov. 8th, 2020.

Satire: Squirrel uprising is getting out of hand

JOEY FRANKLIN January 26, 2023

They are always in such a hurry to go somewhere until they see a human and freeze entirely. I have a feeling that they might be hiding something behind those beady little eyes of theirs. Squirrels...

Coming back from winter break is great but should it not just be longer?

Satire: Students Declare Winter Break Much too Long

CARSON HOLLAND, Evergreen columnist January 17, 2023

A petition has circulated on WSU’s Pullman campus to demand that the administration decrease the length of Winter Break by two weeks.  Carly Dubbs, a senior in microbiology, was adamant that while...

 If Kendall Jenner can do it every day, then so can I.

SATIRE: New Year New Me?

ANNABELLE PEPIN, Evergreen columnist January 12, 2023

This year, I am a new version of myself. Last year was only a week ago and I am leaving every bad habit in 2022. I recently read the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. He said that it takes 21 days...

It is not all rainbows and good eats at the Evergreen ...

Satire: The Daily Life of a Food Reviewer

CARSON HOLLAND, Evergreen columnist December 8, 2022

If you are reading this, I do not have much time before my editors come back to check on me. My name is Carson Holland and I have been trapped in Murrow College this entire year in the Daily Evergreen...

President Schulz has been preparing for this class since he was a teenage boy.

Satire: Incoming students have “The Talk” with President Kirk Schulz

CARSON HOLLAND, Evergreen columnist November 17, 2022

Along with a confirmation of the Junior Writing Portfolio, the Office of the Registrar recently announced that all incoming freshmen for the 2023-24 school year will be required to take “Coug Sexual...

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