The Daily Evergreen

OPINION: Satire: New tech destroys privacy

Facial recognition and conspiracy theorists have one thing in common: they've increased since the pandemic began.

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor

May 27, 2020

When it comes to coronavirus, everything’s up in the air. Governments are scrambling to respond and strange solutions are being examined for even the slightest amount of feasibility. Maybe it’s OK to drink bleach? You don’t know, and neither do I, because this pandemic has thrown everything we...

OPINION: Satire: The Rat King Rises

While not quite in Florida, both documentaries the Rat King and Tiger King have quite a bit of Florida Energy.

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen Columnist

April 13, 2020

Everyone’s talking about it. It’s on the tip of everyone’s tongue. It’s contagious, it’s recent and it seems to have everyone’s attention. Now, you’d think I’m referencing the coronavirus, but it’s actually something a lot more sinister, with significantly more mullets. That’s right...

SATIRE: Online graduation should be on Club Penguin

WSU needs to think about all of the ways online graduation could work

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen Columnist

April 1, 2020

With the coronavirus shutting down universities all over the country, many have had to find alternate means to carry on business. While I’m a big fan of Zoom classes, because I don’t have to put on pants, many other things are not as easily transferred online. For example, college sports have bee...

SATIRE: The dead walk

COVID-19 totally isn't the start of the zombie apocalypse we hope ...

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen columnist

March 9, 2020

Does the recent coronavirus outbreak have anything to do with the mysterious surge of violent crimes in the Whitman County area that some claim is the result of a “zombie infection”? No, is the resounding answer from the state’s health officials. “There’s no such thing as a zombie ou...

SATIRE: Stealing from WSU is commonplace everywhere

Time to up your game from just nabbing sauces from the dining halls, go line your pockets!

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen columnist

February 26, 2020

Several faculty and staff members were caught embezzling money from WSU by claiming hours that were not actually worked, according to Ernie Madoff, the official spokesman for WSU, home of the overpaid administrative vacation. “We have to send the message that misuse of university funds is never OK,” ...

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