The student voice of Washington State University since 1895

The Daily Evergreen

The student voice of Washington State University since 1895

The Daily Evergreen

The student voice of Washington State University since 1895

The Daily Evergreen

Violators of this new declaration will be subject to community service, finally giving them a chance to do something actually helpful.

SATIRE: U.S. government declares giving unsolicited advice illegal

KESTRA ENGSTROM, Evergreen columnist September 30, 2021

Last month, in the wake of being told by a fellow senator to try doing yoga stretches to “help his lack of a backbone,” Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell proposed a new bill that would make giving out...

You know when students fail an assignment so miserably that the teacher makes the whole class redo it? Yeah, this is like that.

SATIRE: Second chance at Met Gala theme

KESTRA ENGSTROM, Evergreen columnist September 20, 2021

The annual Met Gala, often thought of as the fashion event of the year, took place on Monday of last week. After being delayed for a year because of COVID-19, the elite of our country proved, with the...

The starting materials to make a PB&J sandwich include bread, peanut butter, jelly, a knife and your imagination. There is almost no way to make it incorrectly.

SATIRE: Right way to make PB&J exists

SAMANTHA RADCLIFFE, Evergreen columnist September 13, 2021

Some families disagree over whether the Earth is flat. Others disagree over whether climate change exists. Not in my household. No, we have a long-standing debate about the correct way to make a PB&J...

Pullman residents are coming together across the city to demand air conditioning units. No one should have to make do with fans in the boiling heat.

Satire: Recovered from heatwave, Pullman residents riot for change

MEGHAN HENRY, Evergreen opinion editor July 12, 2021

Pullman has gone up in flames. And how ironic, because we are all finally recovering from the heat wave that just passed through. The young and old alike suffered through unrelenting heat and now from...

Films characterizing all colleges as party central set students up for a very different reality.

SATIRE: College movies create unrealistic expectations for students

GRACE LAPIERRE July 2, 2021

When I first came to college, fresh out of high school, I think I expected it to be largely the same but with somewhat more difficult work. Some people might expect it to be significantly harder; some...

An unexpected experience with a cult at Cougar College affects three students lives.

SATIRE: Locals share stories as cult survivors

LOREN NEGRON, Evergreen editor-in-chief June 28, 2021

Note: All names have been changed to ensure the safety of sources. Things aren't always what they seem at first. One event always leads to another.  How did I get here? Cyrus thought. How in the...

Folded over or under? The most divisive argument of the century is which way the toilet paper roll is supposed to face.

SATIRE: Opposing opinions lead to divorce for some, hilarity for others

GRACE LAPIERRE June 14, 2021

People have opinions on almost everything. This is great for the existence of an opinion section in a newspaper, but all in all, can be a pain. People can argue over the dumbest stuff, like that blue and...

Though animation was created to make customer service more helpful, in reality, it makes the experience more stressful.

SATIRE: Automation in customer service is not making things more efficient

GRACE LAPIERRE June 7, 2021

Robots are much better workers than humans. After all, they never need to take bathroom breaks, eat or sleep. If there was no need for these things, nor a need to pay employees a living wage, corporations...

Mysterious creatures might be hiding in plain sight on WSU Pullmans campus.

SATIRE: Mascots tend to be a friendly presence, but what is really under the mask?

GRACE LAPIERRE June 4, 2021

Mascots are weird. From Syracuse University’s Otto the Orange, Miami Heat’s Burnie, who has allegedly been sued more than once, or King Cake Baby in New Orleans, to the strange yam ninja Jinenga of...

Recruiters seem to be sneaking their way into everyones emails and high schools to find new recruits.

SATIRE: Dear military recruiters, stop texting me

GRACE LAPIERRE May 28, 2021

People who serve in the military have my respect. It is brave, both for the risk of combat — no matter how great of a risk it is at that time — but also for the time commitment and the seemingly unwavering...

It is a common occurrence for many Americans to confuse states with each other, even when they are on opposite sides of the country. This happens with American cities with the same names as foreign cities or countries as well.

Americans should remember their geography lessons

GRACE LAPIERRE May 21, 2021

All of my life, I have dealt with one minor yet annoying occurrence when I am asked about where I am from or where I live.  “Where are you from?” asks the random person from outside of New...

Phineas and Ferb arent the only ones who know how to have a great summer.

OPINION: Satire: Hot ways to enjoy summer 

PORTIA SIMMONS April 29, 2021

As people are getting their vaccines, things will start to open up and we can relax a little during the summer. As a student, it might be hard due to financial restraints, but don’t worry. There are...

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