The Daily Evergreen

OPINION: Satire: Why the next Olympics should be held in Antarctica

OPINION: Satire: Why the next Olympics should be held in Antarctica

DIANA RIOS, Evergreen opinion editor April 8, 2021

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to watch ridiculously talented athletes compete not only against each other but also against the elements? I don’t exactly mean a competition in Siberia or...

It's becoming increasingly difficult to stay engaged during regular Zoom meetings, but is a Zoom meeting on Zoom fatigue really the best way to learn how to deal with it?

OPINION: Satire: The irony of a Zoom meeting on Zoom fatigue

GRACE LAPIERRE, Evergreen columnist April 7, 2021

The university recently hosted a meeting to help students deal with Zoom fatigue and stress. On Zoom. While Zoom fatigue for me is no different than being sick of going to class regularly, I could not...

WSU students have recently been noticing strange occurences on Zoom. What started out as innocuous Zoom glitches and creations of tired minds seems to have sinister undertones.

OPINION: Satire: Are WSU professors hiding a big secret?

GRACE LAPIERRE, Evergreen columnist April 1, 2021

Reports of strange occurrences on campus have been circulating through all major social media sites, whispers of something sinister stirring behind the scenes. These posts, mysteriously deleted shortly...

OPINION: Satire: ’Aren’t Saturdays for the boys?’

OPINION: Satire: ’Aren’t Saturdays for the boys?’

ALEXANDRIA OSBORNE, Evergreen columnist April 1, 2021

Leaders of Greek Row recently implemented a freeze on social gatherings within Greek life, and people are shook.  I have heard people complain about not being able to see their brothers or sisters...

Who wouldn't love the handsome mariachi man on the Tapatio bottle?

OPINION: Satire: My strange addiction to Tapatio

DIANA RIOS, Evergreen opinion editor April 1, 2021

While some “strange addictions” consist of chalk, sand or even the cotton candy from your attic, Tamira Tapatia’s strange addiction is edible but relatively painful for the tastebuds. Tapatia is...

College students are really going through that (not) “Summertime sadness” this semester.

LETTER: Spring breakers turn spring broken

MEGHAN HENRY, Evergreen columnist March 18, 2021

WSU has worked long and hard to keep us all healthy and happy for a year now. We’ve seen the cute signs on the president’s lawn and the play-on-words captions posted on the mirrors in the Chinook and...

What's the best way to start liking conflict? Do you become a ball of fire, or simply learn to speak up?

SATIRE: (Don’t) Ask Gemma: How to deal with work-related conflict


Dear Emma, I am a very passive, conflict-averse person. My employment makes it hard to be both of those things and still do a good job. I need to figure out how to like conflict — and fast. A few...

It sucks to be lactose intolerant because ice cream, cheese and pizza are a few of the seven wonders.

OPINION: Satire: Lactose intolerance won’t stop me

ALEXANDRIA OSBORNE, Evergreen Columnist March 10, 2021

Lactose intolerance is a well-known health issue that a lot of us have to battle. People who are lactose intolerant cannot eat any dairy because the symptoms are just that bad, some of which include projectile...

What lies behind those glowing eyes, and what is in those solo cups?

OPINION: Satire: FBI classifies frats, sororities as cults

PORTIA SIMMONS, Evergreen columnist March 4, 2021

Recently, the Federal Bureau of Investigation released its list of top organizations classified as cults. This list included: Blockbuster members, frequenters of Applebee’s and fraternity and sorority...

OPINION: Satire: How to lose a guy in two hours

OPINION: Satire: How to lose a guy in two hours

DIANA RIOS, Evergreen Opinion Editor February 25, 2021

Dating is a formal and fun way of finding a partner, in all seriousness. But you might find yourself in a situation where a date turned awkward, uncomfortable, or just outright terrible. No matter what...

Killer robots aren't merely the stuff of sci-fi anymore — they could be right around the corner.

OPINION: Satire: Beware of killer robots

JOEY FRANKLIN, Evergreen columnist December 8, 2020

Elon Musk recently put a computer chip in a pigs’ brain. While I'm not exactly sure what the end game for Musk is, it's a very fascinating idea. I wonder how long — if it hasn't happened already —...

Around the country, Trump voters continue to protest the results of an election they claim as illegitimate.

OPINION: Satire: Republicans need to accept election results

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor December 3, 2020

With the election results behind us, it seems that Joe Biden will be the head of American politics, policy and drone strikes for the next four years. With a decently sizable lead in several crucial swing...

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