OPINION: Satire: New tech destroys privacy
JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor
May 27, 2020
When it comes to coronavirus, everything’s up in the air. Governments are scrambling to respond and strange solutions are being examined for even the slightest amount of feasibility. Maybe it’s OK to drink bleach? You don’t know, and neither do I, because this pandemic has thrown everything we...
OPINION: Satire: The Rat King Rises
JACOB HERSH, Evergreen Columnist
April 13, 2020
Everyone’s talking about it. It’s on the tip of everyone’s tongue. It’s contagious, it’s recent and it seems to have everyone’s attention. Now, you’d think I’m referencing the coronavirus, but it’s actually something a lot more sinister, with significantly more mullets. That’s right...
SATIRE: Online graduation should be on Club Penguin
JACOB HERSH, Evergreen Columnist
April 1, 2020
With the coronavirus shutting down universities all over the country, many have had to find alternate means to carry on business. While I’m a big fan of Zoom classes, because I don’t have to put on pants, many other things are not as easily transferred online. For example, college sports have bee...
SATIRE: The dead walk
JACOB HERSH, Evergreen columnist
March 9, 2020
Does the recent coronavirus outbreak have anything to do with the mysterious surge of violent crimes in the Whitman County area that some claim is the result of a “zombie infection”? No, is the resounding answer from the state’s health officials. “There’s no such thing as a zombie ou...
SATIRE: Stealing from WSU is commonplace everywhere
JACOB HERSH, Evergreen columnist
February 26, 2020
Several faculty and staff members were caught embezzling money from WSU by claiming hours that were not actually worked, according to Ernie Madoff, the official spokesman for WSU, home of the overpaid administrative vacation. “We have to send the message that misuse of university funds is never OK,” ...
Whitman County received 19 more reports of positive COVID-19 tests this week, which brings the county’s total case count to 114. Nine cases were...
