An LGBT Christian sounds like an impossibility, an oxymoron, at least to the untrained ear.

After all, most of the most vehement detractors of the LGBT community claim to be good Christians, whether Baptist, Catholic, Anglican, Lutheran, Methodist, Presbyterian, etc.

The past thirty years of reforms in many mainline Protestant churches has driven many of these denominations at least in two. I think particularly of the Continuing Anglican movement, which split from the Episcopal Church over female priests and later over open acceptance of LGBT people in general and in particular of Bishop Gene Robinson of New Hampshire.

However, Christianity in my specific case and in the case of many other queer individuals is not alien to our sexual or gender identity.

I was raised to be a devout Roman Catholic with all the rosaries, Eucharistic adorations, Novenas, and myriad feasts to the Blessed Virgin.

This all occurred before I came out, but I can say with utmost conviction that I define, at least in terms of religion and theology, as a Catholic. My head still bows at the appropriate times during the liturgy, and I can’t last long without a mass. I love the smells and bells, the ornamentation, and the full choir.

This is not to say it has not been a hard journey.

My boyfriend Travis and I often defect to the Episcopal Church for Sunday Eucharist since we know there will not be any conflict over our relationship there.

However, I still identify as Catholic. I still desire a Catholic wedding. Luckily, the Episcopal General Conference of 2015 amended the church’s marriage rite to be gender inclusive. A “Catholic-lite” matrimony can be made real. However, if ever the Vatican choses to open the Roman church up to us fully as well, my rush back to the papal religion will be among the fastest.

In the meantime, I will still define as a Catholic, even a Roman one. I will cheat and likely attend both Catholic and Episcopal services.

My heart is definitely Catholic, but it is also definitely gay. I love both my boyfriend and my Church.

Is it a struggle? It certainly is. Hopefully the gracious overtures of Pope Francis will continue, and the family I hope to found one day will find acceptance in the Vatican. 

That does not mean for the meantime I will not slip away to mass. More importantly, both allies in the Church (in every denomination for that matter) and I will hold other Christians to account over espousing Christ’s unconditional love.

This includes loving and accepting, not just tolerating, families of all types. This includes coming to grips with LGBT couples yearning for a sacramental validation of their relationship, because faith is important to us, too.

If you define as LGBT and are Christian, you are not alone.

There are churches that will currently welcome you exactly as you are, even if you are in relationship and have or are contemplating a family.

On July 2^nd, the Pew Research Center listed all the churches that sanction same sex marriage. Among them are the Episcopal Church, the United Church of Christ, the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A.), and the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.

If you are queer and devoutly Catholic, I’m right there with you. Does our Church accept us as human beings deserving of love? It does, though the official Church expectation is celibacy.

We also cannot get married yet as Catholics, but that does not mean we cannot continue fighting for it.

For those of you who are allies or have LGBT relatives or friends, I am pleading for you to stand with us. So long as we listen obediently to sermons that are intolerant of anyone, sexist, racist, or homophobic, we will not change anyone’s mind.

There is a great video of a family at mass in Australia, and the priest was giving a sermon condemning homosexuals. In the midst of the sermon, the grandmother gets up and starts talking down the priest.

She tells him her grandson is gay and that she loves him unconditionally. She then gets up with everyone else in the family and leads her family out.

More of us need to be that courageous.

If you are afraid that your very Christian parents will not accept you, don’t be.

One of the first things my very Catholic mother told my brother and I when we were old enough to understand what being gay is was that she and our father would always love us.

My parents have held firm on that promise and then some.

I know that’s not every family, but we can always try to have faith. We can also, gay and straight, continue to pray together.

After all, the human family that prays together stays together.