Skeletons; or as they are also known, bone men. Whether they are running Christmastown, fighting He-Man or doing some other crazy crap, skeletons are one of the greatest mythological creatures ever conceived.
However, one question has challenged both skeptics and scientists alike: are these crazy skeletons actually real?
A crazy thought, perhaps. How could a creature that seems to be a human being made out of bones truly exist? However, if you ask both scientists and some fringe fanatics, the answer may not be as clear-cut as you think.
To answer this question, let us dive into the history of skeletons as a concept. The first recorded mention of a skeleton was in the 1508 Latin novel Stultus Liber Rem Mutam. In the book, the main character encounters an army of “sceleta,” which roughly translates to “white boney creatures.”
Whether or not this was the first mention of a skeleton, the concept of the skeleton caught on like wildfire, much like the plague. It is estimated that by 1962, “skeleton fanart” became the third most Googled term, just behind “has someone shot JFK yet” and “how to get out of the Vietnam War.”
The skeleton craze swept the nation, becoming known by many as skelemania. But this frenzy was not without its downsides, as many children began attempting to peel off their own skin to unlock their “inner skeleton.”
“Skeletons are fictional creatures, much like dragons, wizards and British people. Under no circumstances should you attempt to become a skeleton,” President Ronald Reagan said in a televised address to the nation. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get back to ignoring the AIDS crisis.”
While this answer calmed public furor at the time, the modern scientific community says the answer is not so black and white. Dr. Lonnie Chungis, professor of bones, said there are some mysteries surrounding skeletons modern science cannot explain.
“Frankly, scientists can neither prove nor disprove the concept of skeletons,” Chungis said. “If skeletons were 100% not real, I believe we would see no signs of them existing in the real world. To put it bluntly, that hasn’t been the case.”
Chungis said one piece of evidence for skeletons can be found at your local doctor’s office. If you get an x-ray done to look inside yourself, an image of a skeleton often appears in the picture.
“This is something science just can’t explain,” she said. “I’ve spent 13 years trying to find a rational scientific explanation and even cut off my own arm to try to look inside and find the truth, but it just can’t be explained rationally.”
It is not just scientists who are determined to find the truth about skeletons. Harry Jackson, founder of the Pullman chapter of Skeleton Truthers believes skeletons are real, but cannot be found by conventional means.
“We know skeletons are out there,” Jackson said. “I’ve had friends who have told me, ‘Don’t waste your time. Try to find a creature that actually exists, like Bigfoot or the Loch Ness Monster. Only idiots believe in skeletons.’ Can you imagine being stupid enough to believe in something like Bigfoot? What chumps. I always tell them, ‘Well, when you grow up, you can join me in trying to find those wacky skeletons.’”
Jackson said his group has already found concrete evidence of skeletons. While digging around, the group uncovered a wooden box that had a skeleton inside.
“We were just digging in a graveyard hoping to find a dead body that had some loose change in their pockets or something, when instead we found a skeleton. Not just one, but hundreds of them in this one cemetery,” he said. “It was almost like a skeleton was under every headstone where a dead body used to be. It was unbelievable. I believe skeletons are just like dinosaurs, you’ll find proof of their existence if you just go looking for it.”
Despite photo evidence of this encounter, the scientific community has their doubts, Chungis said. It is possible the skeletons are replicas made out of chalk, but she believes this may be a breakthrough in the search for skeletons.
The federal government is currently spending $4.8 trillion a year on skeleton research, close to six times more than what it spends on education. This is expected to be one of the deciding issues in the upcoming presidential election.
“Lyin’ Kamala said I want to decrease spending on skeleton research in her latest attempt to smear me in this race,” former President Donald Trump posted on Truth Social. “Her and crooked Joe Biden have gutted our once beautiful skeleton program. It was the envy of the world. Once I, your favorite president, retake office, I will spend five times what they have on Skeleton Research. And I’ll gut Social Security as much as it takes to do it.”
Chungis said despite the excitement over skeletons, it is important to remember there is no hard evidence yet to prove their existence. However, she believes there is a mystical element out there that science cannot explain.
“I believe they’re out there. I just don’t understand how some things can be explained without the existence of skeletons,” she said. “A wise man once told me, ‘there’s a skeleton inside all of us,’ and I think there’s a lot of truth to that.”
