The presidential election is less than one week away. After a campaign lasting nearly a year and a half, the only poll that really matters will take place Tuesday.
But with all the excitement around the election, what is the general mood of the American people right now? We asked around to get an idea of what students and others in this country think about the election.
“Man, is that election thing still not over yet? Can’t we just nuke every inch of this country and get it all over with?” said junior anthropology major Julia Duban, who plans on not voting.
“I’m split personally. I’m not a fan of Trump’s racism, but I’m really into his sexism, so I guess I’ll throw a vote his way.” said Greg Raymond, senior business management major, who plans to vote for Trump.
“I’m too busy to vote to be honest. I was planning on doing something important like getting wasted while playing PUBG on Tuesday.” said junior engineering major Chris Fields, who plans on not voting.
“I’m a bit disappointed right now. I was planning on voting for Robert Kennedy, I could really relate to him. I mean, that time he dumped a dead bear in Central Park made me feel better about that time I dumped a body in a garbage bin.” said Andre Rana, freshman religious studies major, who is undecided.
“I think it’s the only way he’ll notice me.” said Eric Trump, who plans to vote for Harris.
“If I knew how to read I’d probably vote for that one who keeps putting doctor in her name or something [Jill Stein],” said Joyce Beamer, sophomore computer science major, who is the world’s smartest person who makes a big deal on not voting “out of principle.” “If not her, maybe one of those other candidates who has no chance to win.”
“I just hate the way the Democrats selected Kamala as the nominee. Not one person voted for her in the primaries. What an insult to democracy,” said James Samuels, senior political science major, who plans to vote for Trump. “It’s just like I said at the Capitol on Jan. 6: the Democrats have no respect for democracy.”
“I vote Republican usually and I wasn’t sure if Kamala would be a good president. Then I saw her on the Call Her Daddy podcast and Howard Stern and I realized I should vote for her.” said someone who does not exist but the Harris campaign thinks they do.
“If I’m still alive by Tuesday, which is by no means a guarantee, I think I’ll vote for Kamala,” said President Joe Biden, who plans to vote for Harris. “She’s the one who’s my vice president, right? Yeah, her then.”
There you have it. Here’s to hoping the Harris and Trump campaigns can learn something from these responses.
