A mysterious white powdery substance has been found inside multiple WSU buildings, including Murrow Hall.
WSU Spokesperson Leonard J. McGilligan said this substance was not put into the buildings by current university staff. What it could be is still under investigation.
“University staff were attempting to lift the floor tiles in Murrow Hall after they received an anonymous tip that Edward R. Murrow’s gold is buried somewhere in the building,” McGilligan said in a press conference. “While we have not found the legendary gold yet, we found plenty of a white powdery substance that we can not identify.”
McGilligan said the university is currently running tests to see what this substance might be. Current theories include fiber, powdered milk and sugar.
“Frankly, we’re baffled at the moment as to what it could be, but we know there’s an abundance of it,” he said. “Students who would like to help in this mystery are encouraged to break open the floors and walls in their classes’ halls to see if they can find any more samples and touch them directly if so.”
While there is no official explanation of what this substance is, students who have found it themselves have described it as “fun to touch and inhale,” “delicious” and “definitely, totally safe.” Several theories have also popped up around campus as to what this could be.
“I heard an ancient legend from three years ago that this substance was put in the floor and walls to help hide Edward R. Murrow’s gold. I think every student should start grabbing and making as much contact with this material as they possibly can to help find it,” said senior neuroscience major Josh Griffith. “It definitely couldn’t be some dangerous material that might cause cancer that the university left in the buildings and never bothered to take out. That would be crazy.”
McGilligan said WSU is currently running human trials to see what this material might be. A new course will be introduced next semester to allow students to get firsthand experience in partaking in human experiments and eating white powder found in the walls just to see what happens.
Students who would like to help find Edward R. Murrow’s gold can submit a tip to [email protected] or call or text (509) 335-GOLD.
