Dear Life Section,
I’m dreading going home for Thanksgiving. Like every year, my huge family will end up fighting about something — whether it’s which game to play or who gets to put the star on the Christmas tree. It’s all so chaotic.
I don’t want to waste this break on fights and arguments. Everyone’s mood is ruined when we could spend the time peacefully. That way, I could come back from the break without stress or baggage before finals.
Do you have any suggestions for how I can handle this Thanksgiving smartly?
Sincerely,
Conflict Avoidant
Dear Conflict Avoidant,
Thanksgiving is a time to celebrate gratitude, share meals and create memories with loved ones. While many families share similar traditions, every family’s dynamic is unique, often adding its own set of challenges during the holidays.
Family drama can overshadow the joy of the season, but with a thoughtful approach, you can set yourself up for a more peaceful experience. Start by preparing yourself mentally. Reflect on past gatherings and pinpoint common triggers. Knowing what to expect can help you plan your responses in advance.
Set realistic expectations for the holiday. Families aren’t perfect, and embracing that imperfection can help you focus on the positive moments. Understand that not everyone will always get along, and that’s okay — it’s part of the family dynamic.
Keep the holiday spirit in mind by practicing gratitude and steering conversations toward happy memories. Highlight shared experiences or traditions to create a sense of connection.
Avoid engaging in controversial topics like politics or revisiting past conflicts. These conversations can quickly turn tense. Instead, try redirecting the discussion to lighter, more inclusive topics.
If a conflict starts to escalate, seek support from another family member who can help calm things down. Communicating your intention to maintain a peaceful gathering beforehand can ensure you have an ally during tense moments.
Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. If a certain topic makes you uncomfortable, politely express your limits. However, remember that not every disagreement needs to be resolved immediately. Choosing to let go of minor issues can preserve the overall peace.
Have an exit strategy in place. If tensions rise, excuse yourself for a quick breather. Say you need some air or take a walk to clear your head. You could also engage with kids or pets — a lighthearted distraction can help ease the mood for everyone.
Self-care is crucial, both before and after the holiday. Take time to meditate, exercise or do activities that center you before the gathering. Afterward, reflect on your experience by journaling or having a meaningful conversation with a trusted family member. This can help you process your emotions and head back to school with a clear mind.
Finally, remember that you can’t control others, but you can control your reactions. By focusing on the moments of joy and gratitude, you can make Thanksgiving a meaningful and manageable holiday.
Sincerely,
The Life Section
