Get away from me please, I don’t want your cooties
Your immune system has everything under control, brain will combust with thoughts of contracting wild diseases
September 26, 2018
Flu season is around the corner, and I want to lock myself in a sanitized safe away from all of the potential disease-carriers.
Whenever autumn approaches, I’m triggered and remember terrible scenes of my fellow classmates coughing without any barrier between their mouths and the healthy world. Even worse, I recall the experience of seeing a man sneeze in his hands and then open a door with those same hands. Truly tragic.
This situation’s terribleness is amplified by 10 if you have lectures with 100- plus people because it is inevitable that someone will get germs all over their faces and hands. You might as well quarantine them before their class is over.
When I was younger, my mom would jokingly call me her “little hypochondriac,” and it wasn’t for no reason. On countless occasions I would come to my mom or dad stating that I knew I had contracted a sickness of some sort.
Like I briefly mentioned in my previous letter from the editor, I thought I had appendicitis every week or so. My suspicion had struck me after a boy in my neighborhood was picked up in an ambulance in the middle of the night for that very affliction.
I asked my parents what happened to him and they told me the boy’s appendix needed to get taken out. Thus, the appendicitis seed was planted in my brain. The funny thing is, I didn’t even know what an appendix was, but for all I cared, it was the key to my demise.
This instance wasn’t my only case of paranoia, and I honestly don’t know how many cases there are. There’s probably a whole warehouse dedicated to the times I thought I was sick with something I wasn’t.
Another example of my supposed hypochondria was when I saw a trailer for “My Sister’s Keeper” on TV, and for a week afterwards I thought every ache in my body was due to cancer. I was a little dramatic to say the least.
However, in my defense there were some times that something I had contracted was worse than it seemed. For example, I was bedridden one day and my mom was sure that it was just a cold, but it ended up being pneumonia. However, with a shot in the butt and a pat on the head, I was fine in a few weeks.
I grew out of my paranoia a little bit, but I seemed to be a little inattentive to my body’s warning signs. Once I thought I had a cold and I insisted that I should go to school, but my dad told me to stroll over to the doctor instead.
I didn’t protest and went along my merry way, even though my dad told me I looked like hell. I ended up having strep, so I suppose I need to find a balance between ignoring the sniffles and imagining the pain.
One thing is certain, and that is that my parents are treasures. Having a daughter that thought she was going to die every other week must have been a little tiring.
So if there is a moral lesson to learn from this mindless story, it’s this: please respect yourself and other hypochondriacs by getting a flu shot. I didn’t protest and went along my merry way, even if my dad told me I looked like hell. I ended up having Strep, so I suppose I need to find a balance between ignoring the sniffles and imagining the pain.
One thing is certain, and that is that my parents are treasures. Having a daughter that thought she was going to die every other week must have been a little tiring.
So if there is a moral lesson to learn from this mindless story, it’s this: please respect yourself and other hypochondriacs by getting a flu shot.