The holidays have come to the kingdom, and not a moment too soon.

Everywhere you look there are chestnuts roasting on open fires and Jack Frost is nipping so hard on your nose that you want to crack him right in his jaw. However, there’s a plus side.

First, you know you only have a week of school left until you can go home and mooch off your parents — and let them know you’re in a relationship with the person they specifically warned you to never date.

Second, there are Christmas parties.

This wonderful gathering makes it socially acceptable for folks to dress in ugly sweaters or sultry white-fluff-fringed red dresses. Yeah, there might also be people making out under mistletoe, which makes everyone in the room uncomfortable. However, the best thing about holiday parties is the yuletide-inspired drinks.

First and foremost, whenever you go to a holiday party, don’t be a jerk and show up empty-handed. Always bring something for the party such as a bottle of wine, a handle of bourbon or maybe even Capri Sun. Just provide something; it’s the season of giving and goodwill, dammit! Additionally, wear a Santa hat because there are very few social occasions to do so.

At my house, hot buttered rum is a staple, but it is definitely a process. Get two sticks of unsalted butter, a cup of dark brown sugar, some ground cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg, a few ground cloves and a tiny dash of salt and mix it all together. This should form a sweet-smelling paste. Dole it out into some mugs, fill them with two shots of your favorite dark rum and add some hot water.

For those of you who prefer a large bowl of holiday cheer, try the Powder Burns Punch. This one comes from a bar I know of in Kentucky. First, add an entire bottle of your favorite bourbon into a punch bowl. Yes, a whole bottle.

Add a few splashes of cinnamon syrup, six ounces of Grand Marnier, two ounces of Green Chartreuse, a couple dozen dashes of Angostura bitters, filtered water, a few shots of fresh lemon juice and grapefruit juice. Top it off with some seltzer and add some ice.

As the year winds down to colder nights and triumphant semesters, I urge all of you to take a second from the busy holiday season and raise a glass to all of your friends to wish them well.

As for me, the King of Booze, I salute to you all and toast to the most welcoming family I could have ever found. I hope you have a relaxing break and don’t fret that you won’t see Booze News — there will be more. Merry Christmas, you drunken bastards, and bottoms up.