Relationships require exploration of fantasies, kinks

Keep an open mind about sexual fetishes; partners need to constantly communicate to feel safe

JOSEPH GARDNER | EVERGREEN PHOTO ILLUSTRATION

For a healthy relationship to thrive, talk to your partner about trying new things. You never know what you’ll like.

ALIVIA HILLER, Evergreen columnist

Kinks are usually not the first thing you talk about on a date, or even on a one-night hookup. It’s hard to bring up what you want from a new partner, but doing so can advance your relationship to another level.

Deciding to get kinky with a partner can bring excitement to a new or old relationship. This can help you get closer, while also exploring your deepest desires. As long as you both have consented to exploring these kinks, they can benefit your relationship.

“Any relationship in which you can’t find a way to talk about your desires probably won’t last,” said Katherine Sprague, owner of the Ecletica adult entertainment store in Moscow. “Talking about desires will help explore areas of communication and negotiation.”

If you go into a sexual experience with the knowledge of what you want and enjoy, it will be better for both of you. It is easy to have selfish sex and only focus on yourself; exploring each other’s kinks will help keep you both satisfied.

Sprague also pointed out that communication is the only way you can get consent. Even if they’ve been your partner for a long time, consent is important to ensure the both of you feel comfortable and safe around the other person.

It is important that you and your partner can communicate about everything, not just baseline consent. Talking about kinks will help you better communicate in daily life and allow you to discover a new side of the relationship. Ultimately, being able to try new positions or kinks without fear of judgment or crossing a line can bring the two of you closer beyond the bedroom.

Though adding in some rope or blindfolds can spice things up, some think there is a line that should not be crossed when it comes to kinks. Each person has their own ideas on what they like and what they want.

There are a variety of kinks and a whole world of toys out there. If you aren’t comfortable with what your partner wants to do, you should voice that and let them know your stopping point. There can be some blurry boundaries, but try to compromise when it comes to kinks.

If you can find a happy medium, you will feel more comfortable while also helping your partner get the best experience they can. As long as you both feel safe with what is happening and talk about it, then there is nothing too extreme.

There are many different types of kinks you haven’t even heard about yet. By doing what your partner wants to try, you could find you enjoy something you never thought you would. As long as you keep an open discussion and feel comfortable with each other, kinks can be the key to your relationship.