Gambler’s Guide: The Other Sports

There might be other sports besides football but don’t put your money on it, we wouldn’t

CODY SCHOELER, Evergreen reporter

Last week, readers of Gambler’s Guide made millions of dollars in profit. (Disclaimer: there is no actual evidence to back up this claim it is purely speculation and most likely not even true. Just go with it.)

That is the easy part, call it beginner’s luck. The difficult part comes when you have made racks on racks and have no idea what to do with it.

“I don’t know what they want from me. It’s like the more money we come across the more problems we see,” said Kelly Price on The Notorious B.I.G’s song “Mo Money, Mo Problems.”

There is no other aspect of life that those wise words apply to more than sports gambling. The more money you make the more problems you run into trying to bet it all again.

Everyone knows you cannot go back to football prop bets right after you just fleeced them for thousands of dollars with your on-point bets.

“You never drink from the same well twice, and you never bet the same bets twice,” said A. Wiez Mann, a very wise man.

Do not get it twisted though. Prop bets are still the best and most efficient way to go, just not for the same sport.

This weekend the Gambler’s Guide will tell you exactly how to win stacks by betting on prop bets for the “other sports.”


How long before the first goal is scored

Over/Under: 1:49

This number seems super random and it is unclear where they got it from. The odds are looking good for the over because it is extremely unlikely for a team to give up a goal within the first two minutes. The risky play here is to bet the push and hope that a goal is scored at exactly 1:49 but that rarely happens.

Will Makamae Gomera-Stevens switch teams?

No: -500

This bet is basically a lose-lose scenario. If she does not switch teams then you lose money. If she does then that clearly means something very bad is happening to the team you are probably rooting for. Avoid bets like this because they never make you happy.

Yes: +1,000

Maybe the people making the odds know something that everybody else does but that is probably not the case. It is more likely they are just trying to make money off of Hawaii homers. There is a scenario where the Hawaiian home crowd gets to Gomera-Stevens and convinces her to swap teams at halftime and become a Rainbow Warrior but it is a risky move to put money on it.

Who will score the first goal?

Morgan Weaver: -1,500

Weaver has basically scored every goal for WSU for the past four years and the odds clearly reflect that. Maybe she is not good at scoring goals on islands which would open the door for someone else. In all likelihood, Weaver is going to open up the goal-scoring once again.

Averie Collins: +250

If by some miracle, Morgan Weaver does not score the first goal then the next best option is Collins. She is also good at putting the ball in the net and she will probably want to do just that during the game.

Makamae Gomera-Stevens: +400

The home-state factor is playing a big role in Gomera-Stevens’s odds here. She will be used to playing soccer on an island which must be very different from soccer over here. If some of the other players come out looking off then betting on Gomera-Stevens could end up being a good deal.

Sydney Pulver: +1,200

Pulver does not shoot the ball very often, and when she does shoot, it normally does not go in. Her odds are a little higher than preferred but she is on the field a lot so hypothetically she has a chance to score. If you plan to take a shot on Pulver, just hope it does better than any of hers. She only scores a goal a year, hope it’s this one if you bet on her.

Kyle Sweet: +7,500

Somehow Kyle Sweet ends up with odds again for a team he does not even play for. This team it is for a sport he did not even play at WSU. He was kind of a punter during his time here so maybe he could score a goal but this bet just seems like an automatic loss.

Ella Dederick: +50,000

Even though Dederick is a goalie these odds seem a little too low. Unlike Kyle Sweet, she is actually on the field, plays the sport of soccer and is still enrolled at the university. This is a better bet than Sweet because she has a chance for a goal if all the Hawaii players decide to take a nap at the same time.


Why is WSU even at this tournament?

Nobody else from Texas wanted to play in it: -150

Not really sure how they are going to determine the right answer for this but this one seems the closest to being right. It is the only logical reason for WSU to travel to Edinburg, Texas to play in a tournament hosted by a school that sounds more like something sold by John Deere than a college.

They thought they were inviting the Houston Cougars: +150

This is actually another highly plausible reason for WSU to be playing in Texas. It is totally possible that WSU and Houston get each other’s mail all the time, just like you might accidentally get somebody’s mail from up the street. It is a genuine mistake but in this case resulted in a volleyball tournament. Kind of like that Lucas Falk guy the Tennessee Titans sent a playbook too because they thought he was our man Luke.

WSU wanted to fully conquer the state of Texas in college athletics: +600

A little bit of corporate greed from WSU athletics is always believable. This time it comes in the form of wanting to conquer the state of Texas in college athletics. The football team already went down and beat Houston so now the volleyball Cougs have been sent to assert their dominance.

This is the ‘We Want Bama’ of college volleyball: +20,000

In this scenario, WSU is ‘Bama’ and schools like Houston Baptist and Texas Southern are the ‘we.’ WSU is pretty good at volleyball so maybe these smaller schools wanted to face them to prove their worth. This is not the most likely of the reasons so only put money on this if for some reason you want to never see it again.

Who is going to lead the team in kills?

Jocelyn Urias: -150

Urias is not a huge favorite, but a favorite nonetheless. She is the most experienced attacker on the team so it is a good bet for her to be the leading killer every game. It is understandable to be wary because she does not lead the team in kills so far but she is a good bet.

Pia Timmer: +200

Timmer is leading the team in kills which makes her a good bet. The only downside to her game is that she has probably never been to Texas so that could impact her game. Hopefully the heat does not get to the German and you get a good return on your bet.

Charity Bradley: +350

Bradley has been playing well recently as she has developed a trend of having double-digit kills every other game. Last game she only had six so look for her to have a good showing. She seems to use her height to her advantage so if the other teams have equally as tall of players at the net then she may end up not paying out.

Hannah Pukis: +1,000

Pukis is a setter so no one would expect her to lead the team in a category other than assists. She does have this cheeky little move where she fakes like she is going to set it and goes for the kill. If she goes full Russell Westbrook on the Texas teams and starts stat-chasing she could get you a return on your bet.

Kyle Sweet: +5,000

How Kyle Sweet ends up on another odds list despite not being at WSU or a volleyball player ever in his career remains a mystery. Do not put your money on Sweet for any of these bets he appears on. Whoever makes these odds clearly has a huge Sweet tooth but do not fall for their trap and give them money that will inevitably go toward their Kyle Sweet shrine.

Alexis Dirige: +10,000

Another case of a player on the actual team having worse odds than Kyle Sweet. This one makes the most sense because Dirige plays libero and does not even attempt kills. Maybe the team has been working on a play in practice where Bradley puts Dirige on her shoulders, and they turn into a super-player. Unless that is the case, this bet is an automatic loss.

How many freshmen will there be on the court at one time?

Over/Under: 5.5

This is a very optimistic line the oddsmakers have set. For you to win this bet you need coach Greeny to roll out an entire line-up of freshmen at some point. This will either be accomplished in one of two ways. The first way is if she tries to flex on some lowly team they face off against by deploying an all-freshman line-up and still winning. The other way is the opposite of that, where they are beating a team so bad that coach Greeny takes pity on them and sends in the reserves, all of which are freshmen.


Will someone lose an oar?

Yes: -110

This is a really tough decision for oddsmakers to make as you can tell from how close the odds are. They must have gone with the idea that oars get slippery due to the water and that makes them hard to hold on to. This is not the worst way to use your money but the payout is not as much as you might like for something that is unlikely to happen.

No: +150

You got to remember these rowers are not just average joes off the street that get in the boat. These rowers train day in and day out to row so they should have enough grip strength not to drop a wet oar. If you put your money on this bet than you better believe in the hands of the rowers that you are putting your money in.

Will there be a fight between two rowers where they use the oars as swords?

No: -15,000

There is almost zero likelihood that this will occur. This bet is not even worth your time.

Yes: +10,000

On the other hand, if this were to occur it would be the most entertaining thing to ever occur at whatever they call a rowing match. A fight between two rowers standing in separate boats using their oars as weapons would be legendary. If you feel the same way then place some money on it and hope that your wish will come true.


Will there be a celebratory cannonball?

No: -500

One would assume that these student-athletes would be able to contain their joy. One would also assume that once they get done swimming they want to wrap in a towel as opposed to jump back in the pool. These odds do not give you a good chance to win any money so avoid it unless you are a fan not having fun.

Yes: +750

This is another case of wishful thinking with the odds. It is super unlikely that this actually happens. If someone swims really fast, like a lot faster than normal, then maybe they will celebrate with a cannonball splash. If you put money on this bet and it pays out then you may want to find the nearest pool to jump in to celebrate.


Is golf even playing this weekend?

Maybe: -150

This seems more of a genuine question than odds for a bet. There does not seem to be a way to lose this bet though. It seems like whether they play or not you win this bet so it is basically free money.

Yes/No: +200

They even gave no yes and no the same odds, further proving that they have no idea if they are paying this weekend. If you actually know the answer to this question or feel like doing something the oddsmakers did not do and look it up online, then you can just put money on the right answer and win.