Getting gay sex straight is hard, every pun intended. There are lots of things that can go right and wrong between the sheets when two men are involved.

So, let me offer some sage and veteran advice on how to make male homosexual experiences easier, more fun and more orgasmic.

First, search for quality over quantity. Take it from me: a lot of gay men, despite their propensity to desire sex, are rather poor at doing the deed.

My recommendation is this: find a longer-term partner with whom you can experiment, explore and discover what you like. Sex is not a matter of notches in a stick; it’s a matter of intimacy and pleasure.

Second, always protect yourself. That includes lube. Condoms are only half of the equation when playing downstairs. Many of the tissues involved, especially with penetrative gay sex, are sensitive and easy to tear.

Third, and on a similar topic, sex between men does not need to include penetration. Sex is sex, and there are many ways to give and receive sexual pleasure.

Never feel pressured to penetrate one another, especially if both of you do not enjoy it. This should not be preclusion to being intimate. There is nothing to say that two self-avowed tops cannot have lots of adult fun together.  

Fourth, if something does not feel good it should not be done. Sex is about pleasure, both given and received. If it hurts, especially behind, have him pull out.

More likely than not, it’s him doing something wrong, not you. Just because being the pitcher seems easier does not mean he is good at it. With regard to gay penetrative sex, both roles take finesse. This rule applies to all forms of gay sex, but in this case it means the line between pain and pleasure.

Fifth, delete the gay social, romantic and hookup apps when you start a relationship lasting more than a few dates. Gay men, even if they in theory agree to an open relationship, are notoriously jealous.

Personally, open relationships, or a desire to have one, smacks of selfish desire to add notches to the sexual belt and – in the absence of sexual action – have a fallback sex partner. If a guy is unwilling to commit, let that be a deal breaker.

Sixth, hookups, even with protection, are always a risk. I cannot dictate how you live your life, but I strongly advise against joining in the hookup culture. Loving, passionate sex is so much more fulfilling than the one-night stand with a guy who likely is not good at what he does.

Finally, the straight guy you fancy is likely straight. The oft-quoted statistic cites ten percent of all people being LGBTQ, but this is likely inaccurate due to it being a situation of self-reporting. 

This is by no means an exhaustive step-by-step method to better homo-sex, but hopefully some of this advice resonates and brings you more pleasure from your gay, hopefully sexually plentiful, life.