The votes are in, and Reuters reported on Sept. 12 that self-professed Marx admirer Jeremy Corbyn was chosen as leader of the UK Labour Party and therefore leader of Her Majesty’s loyal opposition in the House of Commons.

A potent mixture of arrogance, hypocrisy and naïveté continue to drive the desire to resurrect dear Karl. Millennials are not the only generation to do so, but they are most keen to make it obvious – among many circles of the political left, Marxism continues to provide inspiration.

For the politically unversed, the definition of Marxism is “a theory and practice of socialism including the labor theory of value, dialectical materialism, the class struggle and dictatorship of the proletariat until the establishment of a classless society,” according to Miriam-Webster.

Guest columnist Rosie Fletcher of The Guardian said many youth supported Corbyn because they “believe Comrade Jez to be perfect and his leadership of Labour… as the first step to a sort of socialist version of the 1970s’ Coca Cola commercials, where we not only buy the world a Coke, but seize the means to produce it as well.”

I dare anyone to say this Generation-Y Briton is not espousing Corbyn’s love of Marxism.

For those in my generation who consider themselves genuine Marxists, I cannot take you seriously.

Not only is your belief that you truly espouse Marxist-Leninist or Marxist-Maoist philosophy belied by your branded lifestyle, it is ungrateful and disingenuous to a largely capitalist order that has given you everything.

Yet, for many Millennials, Marxist socialism retains its allure. It is the forbidden fruit of yesteryear, the specter of the now felled Soviet Union and the past of China. Marxism had its day, and now it is in the dustbin of history. 

In this rubbish bin Marxism should stay. It is a relic to the arrogance of humankind, the belief in the ability to plan economies. Stalin’s Five Year Plans and Mao’s Great Leap Forward and Cultural Revolution proved how terribly these sort of planned economies operate. Millions died to feed the ambition of the centralized, socialized state.

New York Times columnist Ross Douthat labels the young Marxists “the ‘Millennial Marxists,’ whose experience of the financial crisis inspired a new look at Old Karl’s critique of capitalism …”

Like the socialists of old, the new Marxists myopically grab at a paradigm to redistribute according to perceived “justice.” They do not recognize, as Douthat notes, the increased wealth brought to all in the booms of the 1990s and early 2000s. Instead, they doggedly focus, with some merit, on the greed of the One Percent.

Douthat cites cultural critics who sagely recognize the problem as materialism, not merely a continued titanic struggle between capitalism on one end and socialism on the other.

However, Generation Y doesn’t seem to be listening.

The moronic Millennial love affair with Marxism can also be found in Rolling Stone. One of its journalists, fellow Millennial Jesse A. Myerson, wrote Jan. 3, 2014, “Millennials have been especially hard-hit by the downturn, which is probably why so many people in this generation (like myself) regard capitalism with a level of suspicion that would have been unthinkable a decade ago.”

Myerson recommends Millennials push for onerous Marxist policies, including but not limited to new public banks, common ownership of land and capital, and a universal basic income.

For one, the United States tried public banks and lenders. They were known as Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. They were one of the largest participators in the subprime mortgage derivative trade.

If one is interested in common ownership, think of having common ownership of chores in a college house. Without someone acting as boss, the chores never get done.

As for the universal basic income, it exists already. It is called unemployment benefits. Something else is required, though, for such a broad social scheme: taxes from people who do not draw the social income. Without it, a government would be taxing the payments it gives to each citizen.

For all the Millennial Marxists out there, read well: true Marxism is as wonderful a dream as Hogwarts. Never believe any amount of protesting, campaigning or writing will get a government to pay you for breathing.

Tyler Laferriere is a first year master’s student in applied economics and statistics from Phoenix, Ariz. He can be contacted at 335-2290 or by [email protected]. The opinions expressed in this column are not necessarily those of the staff of The Daily Evergreen or those of the Office of Student Media.