As the year comes to an end, I really feel this may have been the hardest year yet.

Transitioning from online classes back to in-person classes was a weird experience for me because I was used to a new routine and waking up at early hours for practice was stressful. I think this year taught me to stay more resilient than anything.

The fall semester felt easy because we were in the preseason. Waking up at 6:50 a.m., taking a new route to campus and being an upperclassman in college really started to put life into perspective. I made some friends that semester from classes, but I was mainly focused on making sure I passed classes and finished college strong.

The spring semester was much harder than the fall for me. Dealing with different responsibilities in my life such as work, track and difficult classes started to negatively impact my mental health. 

The indoor season felt like my worst season ever and dealing with a toe injury, I wondered at times, “Will things ever get right?” My performances in school and track started to decline as my joy-filled energy from the fall semester faded away.

I felt alone and stayed in my room when I did not have to be outside, which caused me to lose friends in the process. After the season was done in January, I was determined to get back to my normal life, and I felt eating healthier and getting better sleep would help. These changes did help and I noticed myself returning to normal.

However, I felt myself going backward after my grandfather passed away. The first questions that popped into my mind were “Why are these things happening?” and “What is the point of doing these things just to know they all end?” I was stuck on a routine where I would just go to school, practice and sleep. It was a very unhealthy schedule and weeks would pass before I saw any recognizable faces. 

Now almost at the end of the semester, I am starting to feel better, but still find myself battling with my future in writing. As a journalist, it is important to learn a new lesson from each piece you write. I find it quite hard due to not having enough time in life, but I take advantage each day to elevate my knowledge as a journalist.

We are all trying to discover who we want to be and I learned that the only person who can control my future is myself. Instead of dreading my grandfather’s death, I used it as inspiration to become who I want to be. At the last meet, I set a new season record and I felt good about myself, but not satisfied because I feel as if I can get better each day. I learned more about the importance of hard work and staying diligent, seeing success at the end of the season.

All of my pain from this year helped me become a better student, athlete, journalist and man. This year has taught me that one minute, you can be on top of the world, and the next, you can fall flat on your face. Life is an ongoing battle, but having the essentials around you such as friends and family makes life worth living every day.