Satire: Out of the frying pan, into the Crim-Zone…

…oh, actually we are going straight into the oven



Superfan Jeremy T. Cougar was the final fan in the Crim-Zone on Saturday. Congrats, Jeremy!

KESTRA ENGSTROM, Managing editor

The Cougar Marching Band occupied the Crim-Zone during the 2021 football season, but were booted this year when football’s student leadership decided that it was creepy and too distracting how they all wore the same outfit. With the famous endzone seats in Martin Stadium now empty, fans returned there Saturday night to watch the Cougs match up against the University of Idaho Vandals.

Well, about 15 of them did.

The peak of attendance in the Crim-Zone was actually 17 right around the beginning of the second quarter, but quickly dropped to eight once the sun went down and the ideal photo lighting disappeared.

By the middle of the fourth quarter, only one fan remained in the Crim-Zone, Coug superfan Jeremy T. Cougar, who changed his last name to match Butch T. Cougar.

It is unclear if WSU simply forgot to promote the newly available seating, or if WSU fans would simply rather be getting wasted at afterparties than watching their team give up a touchdown to UofI in the first minute of the game; regardless, we can be certain of one thing: if WSU cannot bring in enough fans to fill up an endzone, then they are going to be out of the frying pan, skipping the Crim-Zone, and going straight into the oven.