The Daily Evergreen

The starting materials to make a PB&J sandwich include bread, peanut butter, jelly, a knife and your imagination. There is almost no way to make it incorrectly.

SATIRE: Right way to make PB&J exists

SAMANTHA RADCLIFFE, Evergreen columnist September 13, 2021

Some families disagree over whether the Earth is flat. Others disagree over whether climate change exists. Not in my household. No, we have a long-standing debate about the correct way to make a PB&J...

Pullman residents are coming together across the city to demand air conditioning units. No one should have to make do with fans in the boiling heat.

Satire: Recovered from heatwave, Pullman residents riot for change

MEGHAN HENRY, Evergreen opinion editor July 12, 2021

Pullman has gone up in flames. And how ironic, because we are all finally recovering from the heat wave that just passed through. The young and old alike suffered through unrelenting heat and now from...

Films characterizing all colleges as party central set students up for a very different reality.

SATIRE: College movies create unrealistic expectations for students

GRACE LAPIERRE July 2, 2021

When I first came to college, fresh out of high school, I think I expected it to be largely the same but with somewhat more difficult work. Some people might expect it to be significantly harder; some...

An unexpected experience with a cult at Cougar College affects three students' lives.

SATIRE: Locals share stories as cult survivors

LOREN NEGRON, Evergreen editor-in-chief June 28, 2021

Note: All names have been changed to ensure the safety of sources. Things aren't always what they seem at first. One event always leads to another.  How did I get here? Cyrus thought. How in the...

Folded over or under? The most divisive argument of the century is which way the toilet paper roll is supposed to face.

SATIRE: Opposing opinions lead to divorce for some, hilarity for others

GRACE LAPIERRE June 14, 2021

People have opinions on almost everything. This is great for the existence of an opinion section in a newspaper, but all in all, can be a pain. People can argue over the dumbest stuff, like that blue and...

Whether it requires sending a dozen emails or standing in front of the CUB with a sign to attract interviewees, columnists will do whatever it takes to get interviews.

SATIRE: Columnists turned people-fishers in hopes of catching interviews

GRACE LAPIERRE June 11, 2021

I love my job because I love to write. There are, however, some aspects of it that do not exactly play nice with my other preferences. I loathe hunting for interviews. You reach out and then you wait,...

Though animation was created to make customer service more helpful, in reality, it makes the experience more stressful.

SATIRE: Automation in customer service is not making things more efficient

GRACE LAPIERRE June 7, 2021

Robots are much better workers than humans. After all, they never need to take bathroom breaks, eat or sleep. If there was no need for these things, nor a need to pay employees a living wage, corporations...

Recruiters seem to be sneaking their way into everyone's emails and high schools to find new recruits.

SATIRE: Dear military recruiters, stop texting me

GRACE LAPIERRE May 28, 2021

People who serve in the military have my respect. It is brave, both for the risk of combat — no matter how great of a risk it is at that time — but also for the time commitment and the seemingly unwavering...

What lies behind those glowing eyes, and what is in those solo cups?

OPINION: Satire: FBI classifies frats, sororities as cults

PORTIA SIMMONS March 4, 2021

Recently, the Federal Bureau of Investigation released its list of top organizations classified as cults. This list included: Blockbuster members, frequenters of Applebee’s and fraternity and sorority...

Around the country, Trump voters continue to protest the results of an election they claim as illegitimate.

OPINION: Satire: Republicans need to accept election results

JACOB HERSH, Evergreen opinion editor December 3, 2020

With the election results behind us, it seems that Joe Biden will be the head of American politics, policy and drone strikes for the next four years. With a decently sizable lead in several crucial swing...

Sure, 8 a.m. classes are  early, but think of all the unsung morning benefits.

OPINION: Satire: Take an early morning class

MADELINE GREER December 3, 2020

As the fall semester comes to a close, more and more students are rushing to enroll in the classes they need to take next semester. For many classes, there are multiple sections to sign up for with...

Thanksgiving misses the mark in a lot of ways, especially in terms of food.

OPINION: Satire: Thanksgiving falls flat

JOEY FRANKLIN December 1, 2020

The first Thanksgiving occurred in November 1621. Since then, there have been plenty of iffy traditions that have somehow stuck around for almost 400 years. My biggest qualm with Thanksgiving is stuffing,...

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