The student voice of Washington State University since 1895

The Daily Evergreen

The student voice of Washington State University since 1895

The Daily Evergreen

The student voice of Washington State University since 1895

The Daily Evergreen

Honestly, after losing to the ultimate underdogs in such a fashion, UW had no other choice.

SATIRE: UW football team disbands permanently after Apple Cup loss

KESTRA ENGSTROM, Evergreen Opinion Editor December 6, 2021

Two weeks ago, the Cougs headed to Husky Stadium in Seattle to face off against the University of Washington’s football team in the annual Apple Cup match-up. When they left the football field that night,...

Why do we need to listen to medical, education or research professionals when the Wise “Keith” has graced our campus with his presence, spreading his valuable knowledge.

Satire: follow advice of all-knowing Keith

SAMANTHA RADCLIFFE, Evergreen columnist October 24, 2021

Are you stressed because you do not have the answer to a problem? Are you doubting the relevance of your education or the headlines on the news? Do not fret! Standing at two feet tall and with a mop...

Liberals and conservatives alike are unsure of how to navigate this new age of digital existence.

Satire: Parler becomes last viable social media platform

KESTRA ENGSTROM, Evergreen Opinion Editor October 10, 2021

Last Thursday, Connecticut Sen. Richard Blumenthal called for the end of “finsta” in a questioning of Facebook’s Head of Global Safety, Antigone Davis. Although Davis explained this was not possible...

Violators of this new declaration will be subject to community service, finally giving them a chance to do something actually helpful.

SATIRE: U.S. government declares giving unsolicited advice illegal

KESTRA ENGSTROM, Evergreen Opinion Editor September 29, 2021

Last month, in the wake of being told by a fellow senator to try doing yoga stretches to “help his lack of a backbone,” Kentucky Sen. Mitch McConnell proposed a new bill that would make giving out...

You know when students fail an assignment so miserably that the teacher makes the whole class redo it? Yeah, this is like that.

SATIRE: Second chance at Met Gala theme

KESTRA ENGSTROM, Evergreen Opinion Editor September 19, 2021

The annual Met Gala, often thought of as the fashion event of the year, took place on Monday of last week. After being delayed for a year because of COVID-19, the elite of our country proved, with the...

The starting materials to make a PB&J sandwich include bread, peanut butter, jelly, a knife and your imagination. There is almost no way to make it incorrectly.

SATIRE: Right way to make PB&J exists

SAMANTHA RADCLIFFE, Evergreen columnist September 12, 2021

Some families disagree over whether the Earth is flat. Others disagree over whether climate change exists. Not in my household. No, we have a long-standing debate about the correct way to make a PB&J...

Pullman residents are coming together across the city to demand air conditioning units. No one should have to make do with fans in the boiling heat.

Satire: Recovered from heatwave, Pullman residents riot for change

MEGHAN HENRY, Evergreen opinion editor July 11, 2021

Pullman has gone up in flames. And how ironic, because we are all finally recovering from the heat wave that just passed through. The young and old alike suffered through unrelenting heat and now from...

Films characterizing all colleges as party central set students up for a very different reality.

SATIRE: College movies create unrealistic expectations for students

GRACE LAPIERRE July 1, 2021

When I first came to college, fresh out of high school, I think I expected it to be largely the same but with somewhat more difficult work. Some people might expect it to be significantly harder; some...

An unexpected experience with a cult at Cougar College affects three students lives.

SATIRE: Locals share stories as cult survivors

LOREN NEGRON, Evergreen editor-in-chief June 27, 2021

Note: All names have been changed to ensure the safety of sources. Things aren't always what they seem at first. One event always leads to another.  How did I get here? Cyrus thought. How in the...

Folded over or under? The most divisive argument of the century is which way the toilet paper roll is supposed to face.

SATIRE: Opposing opinions lead to divorce for some, hilarity for others

GRACE LAPIERRE June 13, 2021

People have opinions on almost everything. This is great for the existence of an opinion section in a newspaper, but all in all, can be a pain. People can argue over the dumbest stuff, like that blue and...

Whether it requires sending a dozen emails or standing in front of the CUB with a sign to attract interviewees, columnists will do whatever it takes to get interviews.

SATIRE: Columnists turned people-fishers in hopes of catching interviews

GRACE LAPIERRE June 10, 2021

I love my job because I love to write. There are, however, some aspects of it that do not exactly play nice with my other preferences. I loathe hunting for interviews. You reach out and then you wait,...

Though animation was created to make customer service more helpful, in reality, it makes the experience more stressful.

SATIRE: Automation in customer service is not making things more efficient

GRACE LAPIERRE June 6, 2021

Robots are much better workers than humans. After all, they never need to take bathroom breaks, eat or sleep. If there was no need for these things, nor a need to pay employees a living wage, corporations...

Load More Stories