OPINION: Feel comfortable to share your emotions
Don’t bottle up your emotions only to have them hit during a busy week
March 12, 2020
Fear, anger, sadness, joy, disgust, surprise and trust are all emotions felt, sometimes daily. Expressing these emotions is easier than pushing them away or down. At the end of the day, the emotions are still there when they are not dealt with.
“Emotions are fabulous teachers,” said Isabel Gaila Barbuto, a counselor at Moscow-based Mental Wellness Coaching & Consulting.
No one likes to be friends with the person who emotionally vomits on them, with quick fits of rage or random tantrums of tears.
These emotions are visitors, arriving to show how an individual feels in a moment. Talking about each emotion and accepting the emotions as they come up can be the only way to understand them.
“As you get more comfortable with these guests and visitors (the emotions) there is a new sense of safety, an internal dialogue with the family (the individual and their emotions),” Barbuto said.
It can be emotionally draining for others when emotions are not accepted on the individual level. Going to a party while sad never ends well. Lashing out and saying hurtful words are not forgiven lightly.
“Befriend and establish new relationships, welcome them (the emotions) to create a new relationship with yourself and these thoughts,” Barbuto said.
Studying an emotion won’t teach an individual anything until the emotion is experienced and put into practice. For example, dealing with one emotion at a time can be easier than dealing with all seven at once. With school, work and life, students should not let their emotions stress them out or become overwhelming.
“Rather than reactions, practice a responsive mode that stays calm and at ease that is able to maintain an anchoring and grounding to know the next best action to take,” Barbuto said.
Living in your 20s and being in college are some of the most stressful years of life. This is a time of development, as well as experiencing emotions about your future life and career. With so many things to do a day, let alone in a week, there is no denying that students feel every emotion.
“You can develop self-efficacy, that is calming on the biophysiological level and emotional cognitive level. The judgment, resistance and pushing away begins to fade away when you welcome emotions,” Barbuto said.
Many times students have to push off emotions until after an exam or paper (even I am guilty of this). Pushing these emotions down and not addressing them is where they can really grow and fester.
With so much strain on students, the university provides events and activities to reduce the strain on students. The university recognizes that college and students in their 20s are feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
“When I am overwhelmed I either hangout with friends or exercise, if I have the time. Sometimes I take a nap,” said Alondra Romero, a freshman studying mechanical engineering.
The gyms around campus provide ‘Sweat the Stress Away.’ This is a program that give students a chance to work out and meet other students. The program includes climbing, esports, swimming, CrossFit, yoga, boxing and so much more.
There are even times where there are puppies on campus, trivia, wellness seminars and more. These can be more frequent during midterms and finals. However, these events that run for a single hour during a busy week cannot fix everything.
Express every emotion. Lean into them hard and get to know them. My mother used to always say ‘there is more than just anger there.’ Many times emotions can come in pairs. Sometimes sadness can be expressed as anger, or vice versa. This all becomes clearer when knowing emotions on an individual and personal level.