Ask Emma: Am I losing my best friend? 

Best-friendless in Pullman? Emma has you covered from relationships to friendships.



Emma discusses good conversation tactics when you feel distanced from your best friend.

SAYDEE PHOTHIVONGSA, Evergreen news editor

Editor’s Note: Even though Emma Ledbetter has graduated, The Daily Evergreen has decided to continue the Ask Emma segment with a new author in honor of our friend Emma and all the people she has helped.

Dear Emma,

Recently, my best friend has gotten into a relationship. I’m super happy for her, don’t get me wrong, but I feel like she never has time for me now. She’s ALWAYS with her boyfriend. Almost every time we hang out, he is there too. It’s not that I don’t like him, I think he’s really good for her, but I miss spending quality time with my best friend. I want to tell her how I feel but I don’t know how. I’m also afraid that it will push her away even more. What should I do? 


Best Friend-less 


Dear Best Friend-less, 

Your feelings are valid! It’s common to feel like we’re losing a friend when they have a significant other come into their life. It sucks feeling like your friend doesn’t have time for you or that they would rather spend it with their boyfriend. 

The only way your friend will truly hear how you are feeling is if you tell her. While she might not be entirely fault-free in this situation, she can’t be expected to read your mind and know how you feel all the time. 

It’s best not to beat around the bush here. A sit-down conversation with just the two of you could be all you need to feel more connected again. Tell her how you feel openly and honestly. 

Since you mentioned that you think this guy is good for your friend, it doesn’t really sound like he is the issue here. So say that. You may like him just fine, but you resent the fact that he’s taking up so much of your friend’s time. 

If you’re not really a fan of tough conversations, I would suggest trying to make more of an effort to spend time with your friend. Hopefully, this will show her how much effort you are putting in and it may inspire her to put more in too. 

I think it is important to note that while friendships are a two-way street, you have to keep in mind that this relationship is still pretty new. They are still in the phase of learning everything about each other and frankly, being obsessed with each other. Try not to be too upset (or take it too personally) if you’re not seeing the changes you would like immediately and give them some space to figure themselves out as a couple too. 

As we grow older, we will face these challenges more and more as we get busy with life. We will get into relationships, move away from each other, start families and grow apart. These are bound to happen to a friendship at some point, but I think the true test of friendship is being able to adapt to each of them together. 

Good luck!