Satire: Washingtonians rejoice at not having to watch Tiffany Smiley ads anymore

Campus Republican president was unavailable to comment, but secretary said they are not too disappointed



Patty Murray won the WA Senate race Tuesday and will serve a sixth term.

KESTRA ENGSTROM, Managing editor

After a long and strenuous race for the U.S. Senate, Democratic incumbent Sen. Patty Murray defeated her Republic challenger Tiffany Smiley on Tuesday.

Washington State Democrats celebrated the win and all that comes with it, which includes legal protections for abortion and accountability for police departments around the state.

All Washingtonians, however, are living it up following the election regardless of political affiliation, as the end of an election means they will no longer be subjected to a constant barrage of political ads.

“I was pretty happy about Patty winning, but I was even happier that I won’t have to watch her ad about how our mothers fought for our rights or whatever every time I try to watch a YouTube video from now on,” said president of the WSU Democratic Alliance Libby Lefty. “Like, my mom is from Texas. It was starting to feel kind of personal.”

Lefty’s counterpart Rupert Wright, president of the WSU Republican Association, was unavailable for comment as he spent the night in the Whitman County jail on Tuesday following a DUI arrest.

RA secretary Connie Brown, however, said, “Yeah, we were pretty bummed about Tiffany, but we were honestly so drunk by the end of election night that none of us realized it was over till the next morning. So not that big of a deal, I guess.”

Freshman political science major Nova Aithe said that although they do not choose to align themselves with either party, they were pleased with the results of the election.

“Senator Murray has done a fine job, I guess,” Aithe said. “I thought her ads were a little better than Smiley’s weird game day beer ad, at least.”

Aithe is referring to an ad Smiley ran toward the end of her campaign that criticized Murray’s economic leadership, pointing out that the price of numerous everyday groceries – including beer – have shot up recently.

However, WSU economics professor Goldie Stannard said Washington State does not need to worry much about this anyway.

“So much alcohol has been bought in Whitman County alone recently, our data is showing that we are starting to offset the effects of inflation through sheer local demand,” Professor Stannard said.

In the wake of her loss, Smiley probably is not so smiley right now, but with a pause on political ads and the falling price of beer, Washingtonians (especially WSU students) definitely are – regardless of the midterm election outcome.