Satire: Are We Sure Pullman is Cold Enough?

Pullman has been a balmy 7 degrees, so, T-shirt weather.



My breath should not make a cloud, it should turn in to snow


I was walking to the weekly staff meeting for The Daily Evergreen when I posed an important question to myself: “Are we sure Pullman is cold enough?” I mean, it only felt like the Arctic when I was walking to the meeting, I’m not sure that is quite cold enough.

Looking at my weather app, it said the temperature felt like -2 degrees, that isn’t thaaaaaaaat cold right? It could be much colder in my humble opinion.

I remember watching the infamous Seattle Seahawks vs. Minnesota Vikings playoff game on TV, and man, it just looked freezing in Minnesota, but it still probably isn’t over-the-top cold.

I bet I could play football in that kind of weather just fine!

When I was nice and comfortable in my warm house, I watched “The Shining” where Jack Nicholson’s character was outside the Overlook Hotel with frost and snow building up on his face. But even then, really, how cold could he have been?

Below-freezing temperatures aren’t that cold, Mr. Nicholson.

The sneaky little patches of ice that are scattered across campus probably aren’t that dangerous, and I sure have never fallen because of one.

I have a feeling that we could adjust the air conditioning in Pullman a little bit lower and still be fine; averaging a high of a degree or two instead of the balmy 40-degree weather that we’ve been enjoying for so long.

How much of a difference would a couple feet of snow per winter make in our everyday routines?

The insanely steep hills probably won’t be too hard to maneuver around. I know not everybody has ice spikes to attach to their shoes while they are climbing up to campus but I’m sure it will be okay.

There is nothing more refreshing than leaving through the back door of my house and being hit with a hundred-mile-an-hour blast of sub-zero wind right to the schnoz.

I think the red face I get by the time I reach class really completes the painstakingly crafted outfit I threw together that morning.

I really enjoy when my toes get cold, it puts the icing on the cake at the end of a long day. What scares me about the winter slowly slipping away is the inevitable temperature increase that comes with spring and summer in the Palouse.

I am really not looking forward to wearing shorts and sunglasses when the miserably hot 80+ degree weather rolls around.

Being able to drive around with your windows down on the way to a river with a friend singing your favorite songs really stinks.

I speak for all WSU students and staff when I say that the colder, the better. Anything under 30 degrees is pretty much perfect weather for all Pullmanites. The snow never gets old. I promise. It is so fun to wake up in the morning and see that I have to walk uphill to school in the snow, go about a long school day, and somehow walk uphill in the snow going home.