“Hey honey, I love you”

Facetime is fun, I just wish I could see you.



This can be as small as, “You look beautiful today honey”

PARKER R. SCHAFER, Evergreen columnist

I have found the person who I am madly in love with. I could write an entire twelve-page essay just about this amazing person. On a sadder note,  this beautiful woman who has stolen my heart and I have had to move away from each other across the state.

We have elected to stay together and work through this difficult time while I am at college and she is back home.

I am, of course, talking about a long-distance relationship that has gone on since August.

Over life, couples in relationships worldwide are falling in and out of love. Many people have found others they have decided are worth a lot of effort — so much effort that they are even willing to move their relationship online and to the phone with the promise of someday coming back together.

“Romantic relationships are relevant to college student development and are a frequent college counseling concern (Grayson, 2006). According to Stafford (2005), up to 75% of college students may have a long-distance romantic relationship,” wrote Amber Roberts and Carole Pistole for Journal of College Counseling.

As someone who is in a long-distance relationship, I am here to say, long distance is hard. A long-distance relationship is one of the most demanding challenges that I have ever gone through in my life, more intense than any sport and more draining than the SAT.

According to the Psych2Go video “7 Stages of a Long Distance Relationship,” there are seven parts to a long-distance relationship: decision, parting, transition, realization, jealousy, doubt and validation.

There of course are relationships that start online, however, I will be focusing more on the relationships that parted after starting out in person.

One of the biggest problems that I have found is the realization phase. Not being able to be there physically with your partner can really take a toll on you, not just mentally but physically too.

Of course, these are all dependent on your love language, but not being able to hold your partner as you fall asleep together is heart-wrenching.  Love languages being how you feel the most loved. this can be gift giving/receiving, affirmation, quality time, or in my case, physical touch. These can play a huge factor in your relationship and with touch being a big factor, bringing distance can be really isolating.

However, all is not lost, because there are still many ways to make up for the loss of closeness with your partner.

Something that helps tremendously is affirmation. This can be as small as, “You look beautiful today honey,” to “Damn! That ass is lookin’ fine.” (Editor’s note: I have been informed by my partner that I am not supposed to say the latter to her. Stick with the first one.)

On top of this, making sure that you set aside time for virtual date night is really important, even if you can not score a kiss at the end of the night.

This can be whatever you both decide on, even if it is just dinner and watching stupid YouTube videos, having a date night where you try to treat each other and pretend the distance simply is not a factor.

Another huge thing that helps in an LDR is a small activity. Maybe it is watching soccer highlights at the end of the night with each other because they remind you that you are still playing for the same team, even though sometimes you fight as if you are not.

Fighting is normal and it is okay as long as you resolve the conflict with love and compassion rather than anger and aggression.

Remember, the most important thing is to fight the distance not each other.

Some relationships might not work and that is okay, there is someone out there who you can make it work with. But do not let distance be the only reason that you end up without the love of your life.

Ryan Statt, a junior mechanical engeneering student, has been in a four year long relationship with three of those years having been online.

“The only reason people ever break up is because someone in the relationship stops trying,” Statt said.

This is absolutely something I agree with. Distance should not be the sole reason you break up with someone. Unfortunately, distance has a lot of side effects that can tear a relationship apart. whether this be a lack of communication to a decline in mental health.

A big factor to consider in an LDR or hell, in any relationship, is that the individual is more important than the relationship. You can build your relationship with eachothers life, but you cannot make the relationship your life.

While Ryan’s relationship has been long, he is an inspiration for my own. Every day he wake up and fights for his relationship.

This is the most important thing in a relationship, choosing to be with your partner and simply saying “I love you and will always love you.” Or in my case “You are the most important person to me and I do not know where I would be without you mi colibrí.”