SATIRE: Pullman city council meetings really set the mood

Get lost in eternal love in lentil fields; go ham on council table for thrilling, dangerous encounter

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SATIRE: Pullman city council meetings really set the mood

A romantic bridge is a great first date location. Be sure to surprise your date with a ring — she won’t expect it and it will make a wonderful memory to look back on.

A romantic bridge is a great first date location. Be sure to surprise your date with a ring — she won’t expect it and it will make a wonderful memory to look back on.

OLIVIA WOLF | EVERGREEN PHOTO ILLUSTRATION

A romantic bridge is a great first date location. Be sure to surprise your date with a ring — she won’t expect it and it will make a wonderful memory to look back on.

OLIVIA WOLF | EVERGREEN PHOTO ILLUSTRATION

OLIVIA WOLF | EVERGREEN PHOTO ILLUSTRATION

A romantic bridge is a great first date location. Be sure to surprise your date with a ring — she won’t expect it and it will make a wonderful memory to look back on.

ANNA YOUNG, Evergreen columnist

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It’s date night in Pullman and you’re struggling to think of places to go.

“We’ve already been on three dates, Katie,” you say to your girlfriend. “What do you mean you want to go out again? We went out last month!

Fear not — here at the Evergreen we’ve come up with a list of new and exciting date locations, some so unique you’ll wish you’d thought of them yourself. We followed a few lovebirds around town to get the scoop on the best places for a date, and they didn’t disappoint.

There’s an array of options, so you will never be out of luck. Low-cost, quirky and local, you’ll love these date ideas more than whoever you’re taking out.

  1. The bridge by Porch Light Pizza

“I took my then-girlfriend Cecelia here to propose,” said Franklin Halloday, a graduate engineering student at WSU. “It seemed perfect since she loved nature and downtown Pullman.”

Cute, right? This is a great place to come during a casual stroll through town. The South Fork of the Palouse River is a meandering, gurgling sight to behold, and hosts a variety of wildlife.

Halloday said he likes to peer down at the horsehair worms in the river and try to see images in their writhing shapes, like searching for pictures in clouds. In fact, that’s how he distracted Cecelia so he could grab the engagement ring and get down on one knee.

“That part worked really well — she was super surprised when she turned around,” he said. “I was devastated when she said no. Boy, that was an awkward first date.”

  1. An empty lentil field

Yes, it sounds weird at first, but hear me out. No, we’re not kidding.

“Growing up in Pullman, you know how big the farming community is,” said Lia Torres, a lifelong Pullman resident and lentil farmer herself. “I’ve always thought the wide, open spaces of a field are romantic.”

Fields like this provide lots of opportunities to skip, twirl and accidentally land on top of each other after rolling down a hill. There’s often no cell service, so there’s nothing distracting you and your sweetheart from gazing deep into each other’s eyes. Don’t even bother engaging in conversations — just stare. 

Torres recommends this date spot but warns it might not be for everyone. She said one date with a “high-cotton city slicker” ended with her partner disappearing.

“That happens more often than you’d think,” she said. “These lentil fields, they know who walks within and can shift their boundaries. If you’re not careful, you can get stuck here forever.”

Brings a new meaning to “eternal love.”

  1. City Hall, during a Tuesday council meeting

This might be a little raunchy for some, but just try to think of something better than middle-aged bureaucracy. There’s nothing sexier.

“The sound of Council Member Brandon Chapman’s sweet voice is music to my ears,” Albion resident Marcus Kraft said. “And the guy who gives the five-minute warning at intermission? Don’t even get me started.”

Kraft said sitting up front and using every opportunity for public comment is the best way to get the most out of the experience. But, he said, attend at your own risk.

“I used to take every date to a City Council meeting … well, until Mayor Glenn Johnson banned me from coming back,” he said. “I guess making out with your partner on the council table is frowned upon.”

Fortunately for Kraft, the ordinance formally banning him from City Council took over seven months to pass, since it had to go through a lengthy proposal process and four different committees.

At one point the proposal was lost, but found again in an unscented trash bag and reintroduced the next month.

“At least I got to sit in on the meetings until the ordinance passed,” Kraft said. “Those ones were definitely the hottest since there was this element of danger and urgency.”

  1. Another lentil field

Stare into the lentils. There is nothing else, and no one else. You are at the beginning and the end. Love is a meaningless construct, and only the wide expanses of agriculture can free you from it.