Attire-some affair

Fashion has long been seen as a form of expression, and a person’s outfit has the potential to (fairly or unfairly) say a lot about the person themselves.

People are, apparently, like Christmas presents. Even if your personality is an iPad, if you’re wrapped in duct tape and old newspaper you still run the risk of being overlooked at times.

But beyond superficiality, when it comes to the expression aspect, I personally believe it’s just as important to be honest and true to yourself than to always appear superhumanly peppy and put-together at 6 in the morning.

For example, a sundress and cute boots first thing on a Monday implies that, beyond the obvious insinuation that you are a sorcerer unaffected by ungodly early hours, that you are probably cheery, diligent, and excellent at time management.

But sometimes it’s Sunday morning and what you’re trying to say is more along the lines of “my mouth still tastes like vodka.” And nothing really achieves that message quite like the classic sunglasses, sweats, and t-shirt that actually somehow smells like the embodiment of regret.

Regardless of what you’re trying to express, however, college is the age of stylistic freedom.

No longer do we suffer from the nagging and slightly creepy gazes of middle school principals and their insistence that skirts be lower than our fingertips.

Now our public decency is constrained only by the far less strict bounds that are “social norms.”

We have been fashionably released; free to express ourselves via whatever fabric (or lack of fabric) we choose. And with the emergence of this sunny weather, it harkens the additional remembrance of ankles and shoulders, of knees and midriffs as we expose ourselves (to the elements) for the sake of summer.

However, cute summer clothes are not all closet additions and flirting with dangerous later-in-life skin conditions.

Difficulties may be incurred by those of us who have yet to obtain a tan. I can personally attest that my skin’s natural shade this time of year is something resembling the discount white that can be purchased at Lowes.

Additionally, as discussed above, the act of applying weather-appropriate clothes to one’s body requires some degree of effort, usually demanded at some unreasonable time of the morning.

Dressing in the morning is like throwing up when drunk. It’s unpleasant, usually messy and can seem unnecessary, but you do always feel better once it’s over with.

A fairly common clothing motto is “function before fashion.” Personally, I like to take the approach that the law requires me to wear pants.

Let’s be honest here. Sometimes you just run out of craps to give for the week. Thursday rolls around, and you reach into your craps-wallet and just come up a little short. This is okay.

But as much as it is vital to have understanding toward those of us on the comfort crew, it is important to have respect for those of us who actually try at 6 in the morning.

For those of you out there in real person clothes: respect.

When a more reasonable hour such as 2 p.m. rolls around and we mortals manage to break up our top eyelids from their longstanding relationship with the bottom, I promise we will appreciate your effort.