Throughout our lives, we Americans have been told to “work smart, not hard.”

Over the last century we have shaved seconds off of everyday hassles with brilliant inventions like spray-on butter, the Keurig, and the Rotato Express. 

We are a nation of innovators who embrace the shortcut.

However, when it comes to the bedroom, many Americans still entertain the archaic notion that any outside assistance reflects poorly on their lovemaking skills.

I’ve mentioned before that the majority of women can’t reach orgasm from penetrative sex alone. According to a survey of 50,000 people conducted by AskMen.com, one-quarter of female participants admitted that they fake it every time. The same survey revealed that 30 percent of men admitted to faking orgasm at some point as well.

Our forefathers declared certain rights unalienable: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. As a firm believer that orgasms fall under the umbrella of happiness, it is my patriotic duty help bridge the gap. I want to see the same appliance friendliness we experience outside of the bedroom between the sheets.

Introducing toys into a partnered sex life can be both ego-bruising and awkward at first, but proves worthwhile for those seeking long-term sexual satisfaction. Couples that use toys report higher levels of physical satisfaction, communication and overall intimacy.

I know, it all sounds great in theory. However, the thought of actually having this conversation renders most faces what paint companies refer to as “eggshell.”

Many fear this conversation because of its obviously negative implications. Asking your partner to incorporate toys can translate to “you’re inadequate” or “I’m bored.” This is not the case for the vast majority of those looking to spice up their sex lives.

For men and women who find themselves intimidated by the introduction of a third, silicone party, Chrystal Bougon, owner of Curvy Girl Inc. and BlissConnection.com, urges people to think of sex toys as “the appetizer, not the entrée.”

“Think of it as jumper cables for the battery in your car,” Bougon said. “The cables just got your car started; now I need you to take me on the drive.”

Bougon said she has hosted more than 1,500 pleasure parties during her career. She also frequently blogs and hosts a weekly award-winning radio show titled “Everyone Wants to Have Better Sex.”  

After interacting with countless men and women through parties over the years, Bougon has counseled customers from all walks of life about how to best broach the subject with their partners.

Ultimately, she advises shifting the focus to the other partner’s pleasure. For women, she recommends focusing on giving oral sex.

“They’re usually listening when they hear the word ‘blowjob,’” Bougon joked.

Bougon has recommended using a small vibrator on the cheek or on other areas surrounding the shaft during oral pleasure to her customers. After that, it’s easier to bring up using it on you, she said.

“Girls at my parties would come home and do this and then say ‘That lady said that if we put it on my clit you can feel my vagina vibrating too,’” she said.

Talk about a selling point.

In terms of what products to purchase, Bougon suggested starting with things that don’t mirror or rival a penis.

“Start with any Lelo toys or a pocket rocket,” Bougon said. “Try things that are artful and beautiful, for a man those are less intimidating.”

For both men and women who feel threatened by the thought of sexual experimentation, remember that sexuality is a lifetime mission, defined by trial and error. Learning what you like and dislike can help develop one’s sense of self and assist in defining clear boundaries. Read, watch and pay attention to your body; the journey has just begun.

I lend to Einstein’s words in this instance: “Once you stop learning, you start dying.”