Navigating between friends and frenemies

As many of my friends, co-workers and classmates know, I generally don’t like people. Beyond the annoyance I feel for the general public, there are some people who rub you the wrong way to the point that you may consider them your enemy.

You hope this person does worse on a test than you, or that you get a raise at work before them. I know I’m not the only one who feels like this. So, I have developed methods of hiding my hatred.

For your sake and your enemy’s, it is best to try and suppress these feelings of dislike and make relations with your enemies as cordial as possible.

Firstly, when there is hatred, there is often competition. I like to win. Don’t we all? I am the worst loser, and so I’ve learned that when it comes to competing with my peers, I just shouldn’t.

I find the relationship between two competing people to be very interesting. For some, that competition will fuel their rage and motivate them to exceed their expectations. For people like me, the conflict can distract you from the ultimate goal, from the important things in life.

About that saying, “keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” unless you’re a supervillain, that’s the worst idea. My second piece of advice for anyone who’s got a nemesis to deal with is to keep some distance.

Poor relations with a classmate really have little consequence, as you can just sit on the other side of the lecture hall.

Avoidance is not a permanent solution, so don’t count on it solving all of your problems. Poor relations with co-workers are where it starts to get a little messy. Developing a competitive relationship with your friends is the cherry on top of this very messy relationship ice cream sundae.

Workplace disputes can get messy quick, and a lot more is at stake than not having a buddy to shoot the breeze with for a few days. A workplace dispute could cost you your job or theirs, and it could be easily avoided.

I would not suggest going straight to your foe in this situation, as gossip and conflict at work is toxic. Approach your boss, explain the situation and try to come to a solution.

If you are having issues with a co-worker, express your concerns to your boss. Tell them you’d like to keep the workplace happy and conflict-free, and in order to do that, you’d like to work with someone else.

When it comes to friends and co-workers, you’ll need to address the issues eventually. Let me give you the little golden key: communication.

If your friend is bothering you because they keep rubbing in your face how much better they are than you, then take that step and tell them how it makes you feel. If that’s not possible, then you don’t need their friendship in your life.

Much like any other relationship, knowing how to handle an affiliation with an enemy is crucial. Learn what makes you mad, try to figure out why, take a step back and give yourself time to cool off before taking your anger out on someone.

After getting some perspective, talk it out with the person you clash with and see if things can be mended.

Communicate how you feel, and see what happens. When it comes to the line between friends and enemies, you may need to take the plunge and commit to them being one or the other. The worst case scenario is you recognize someone shouldn’t be in your life anymore. The best? You’ve made a friend.