The Fashion Spot tweeted a photo last week of Jordin Sparks, Amy Schumer and Fergie, all wearing the same Halston Heritage dress, and asked the classic question, “Who wore it better?”

At the risk of sounding like the E! network, let me sum up how that Twitter transaction went down. Schumer tweeted back, “I’d say Jordin,” then “or Fergie. Or we can stop putting women against each other!” The last tweet included an emoji of a small policeman. Actually, it could have also been a small bus driver or train conductor; it was a little ambiguous.

Regardless, Schumer makes an excellent point. The guise of the “who wore it better” phenomenon is to critique styling.

However, the bottom line is this: we need to stop critiquing through comparisons and start actually talking about how to dress better. It is harmful to how women relate to each other and doesn’t help anyone dress better, which is supposed to be the whole point.

Imagine you and your friends are relaxing outside on a beautiful summer day, just trying to have a good time and some normal conversation. Suddenly, one of your friends insists on going around the circle in an interview-like fashion and sharing what fashion means to each of us.

This summer that friend was me. The overwhelming consensus was that fashion was about “skinny girls,” or, as one very dear 5’2″ friend of mine corrected, “tall, skinny girls.”

Why do people think fashion is about being skinny instead of about clothes? It’s because of articles like “who wore it better”.

The case with Schumer is especially bad because all three of them wore the same black and metallic dress which they all paired with black strappy shoes and metallic accents. When you take three women in the same dress and essentially the same accessories and ask what the difference is, what are we really comparing?

Imagine again that you and your friends are getting ready to go out dancing for the night. It is entirely acceptable to say, “I think your black strappy heels would go better with that dress.” It is not ok to say, “Stacy looks hotter in that dress than you.” No one would ever say that in person, even if Stacy is really attractive. So why do we think it’s fine to compare people on TV, online or behind their backs?

I don’t think fashion is the problem. I think we are. We need to start treating each other like our best friend on prom night. If we all work together we can all look great.

Let’s make fashion an art form again, a way to express ourselves. I look forward to the day when instead of “you look hot” or “you’re showing too much leg,” we look at each other and say “that dress is so you.”